sigh...yeah...last night was posting abt me feeling lighter after receiving God's direction...but today, i felt weary n burdened again...i really duno y sia...every now and den i really feel like crying...feeling v troubled...n yet i do not know what i'm troubled about...this feeling sucks...however, when i'm distracted, esp when i'm playing with the kids, i can feel much happier...but when i'm alone or wat...the unhappy feeling keeps on haunting me...sigh...esp after duty (helping out at 3-6yrs group), i went up...only spoke to some...but den again...every1 are engrossed amongst themselves...felt i wasnt in the right place at that time, so i left first...headed down to Sembawang...Shawn (my classmate) has organized a house warming session for some of us classmates...we had steamboat for lunch...not bad...filling too...den we played card games...the person with the lowest card will drink the whole glass of green tea or water...den to wine (luckily onli drank abit of wine)...i drank alot for water and green tea...but the whole session was fun...me,grace, n bee wei left first...that is why i'm home now...the rest are still playing...sigh...kinda sad...cos my dad...duno what's wrong with him...he n his 'i'm always right' thinking...i mean i early in the morning already told my mum i will be attending house warming at sembawang...so gotta let me know where they will be having dinner at...den i called home ard 5pm...my dad answered...i told him i'm at sembawang...den wat's the plan...den he got angry...saying that if i wana join them for dinner, i should have already gone home first...hey come on, i've already informed my mum...yet he's so unreasonable...den he got angry with me for always being out...cos on fri n sat i was out till 12am...but at least i always tell ppl that i'm always not free on sundays evening cos i wana spend time w my family...but he doesnt understand...he doesnt care...meaning that we muz follow according to what he wants...i think it's stupid lah...really...times have changed lah...i mean i did take time out to spend time at home...yet he's always complaining...n for this past few weeks i didn't go home early is cos i've gotta OT n have classes...but...he NEVER understands...i'm always wrong...grrr...fed up...but i gave up arguing anyway...usually just let him scold...n get done w it...he gets angry easily...always...n it's really irritating...reminds mi of my boss...kaoz...
anyway, i left Shawn's place early...but i decided not to join them for dinner...first i'm full...second, i dowana see his black face...so rather stay home...rest...n try to get some work done...got lots to do..not only work...but also sch work...sigh...stress...but i still have to bear with it...hmmm...anyway...i know very well my dad cares...that's y he's like dat...but...i feel that he shldnt be so rigid...pls lah...dun keep having those traditional thinking lah...if u wan us to learn from life, let us go through what we shouldnt go through and learn from it...sigh...really duno what he wants...n i guess i cant fulfil wat he wants...sigh...
anyway will stop here...
take care...God Bless~
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