Sunday, February 01, 2009

it's cny...

juz let me 'complain' first b4 i talk abt cny...

sigh...sad...stress...duno wat to do...arghhhh...
my dad...duno y my dad is ALWAYS soooooo petty...i canot take it!!! always get angry with me so easily...i mean i already tried my very best to appease him...but in the meantime, i wana attend church services or do things for God...but...arghhh...i duno wat to sae lah...HELP!!!!!
yah..i know i shld surrender all to God...but...i just wana rant it all out lah...
sigh...duno y he is always angry with me...i've tried so much...tried to always be home (if some ppl noe, i will always tell them i going home first cos my dad will not e happy, etc if i'm out with them)...if not i also nv go out (i seldom go out actually) and will go home...other than my usual stuff like OT, class, Net, NL meeting, i will go home as early as i can!!! but he never appreciates...and keeps saying i am always not home...and get angry...he always expects much more whenever i've done as much as i can...hey...i've got a life of my own too..i cant possibly stay at home 24/7 rite?
sigh...juz afraid me stressing too much my dad getting angry will cause me a breakdown...i really scared i canot take it one day and juz disappear myself...hahahhaa...oopz....i love my family alot...but sometimes i really wonder i Love or izzit just FEAR? i duno...really duno...sigh..

aiya i lazy to type liao...will tok abt cny when i can...nite
bye
God Bless n love all of u!!!