~AArrrgggghhhh!!!~

i'm juz so sad!!!! again...sigh...all abt this stupid idiot 'ROOM'...sigh...
guess wat? it FLOODS in here!!!...though only small puddles here n there...but it juz sucks lah...n nobody cares...told my dad there's water...he even saw mi walking n n out getting cloths to clean my 'ROOM'...but he didnt even care at all!sigh...nobody cares...it's not that i wana stay in this stupid 'ROOM'...i juz hate it!!!n now some of my stuffs are wet...lot of my stuffs are on the floor in the stupid crammed up 'ROOM'...they are all in either paper bags or plastic bags...some plastic bags got holes...dats y some of my stuff got wet...most of the plastic bags are on top of the puddles of water lor...i'm juz so sad lah...i really duno wat to sae or explain how i feel...i actually tried my best to accept this fact...but when i came home juz now...i cant take it anymore...another round of crying again...this yr i really cried aot...sigh...not only that...wat makes me even demoralised is when i see my old room being soo nice...the parquet was re-coated with i duno wats dat called...n there's a huge bed...with nice new curtains...BUT...they are for my bro...i see liao i really v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v sad...really...but wat can i do? i can only see...feel sad...n cry...keep all within me...if i sae it out how i feel...i will CONFIRM get scolded or smthg like dat by my dad...so i rather keep damn quiet...and be sad myself...another thing dat i'm sad abt is dat now whenever i wana use toilet or bathe...i will have to walk all the way up to use...not only dat...when my new cupboard for clothes come, i will have to walk all the way to near the door entrance study(now maid) room to take my clothes...all these are damn demoralising...but once again...wat can i do?sigh...n now since my stuff are in plastic bags...i have to find v long for my stuff...for example clothes and others...cos i duno where my maid puts them...and i think i lost my IC and my external hard drive...duno where they are...arghhh...i am juz really sad...duno wat to sae...now i can only cry in my room...tmr i will have to out on a smile on my face...sigh...oh yah...one more thing...actually my mum sae will buy new shelves n drawers for me...i can go choose...guess wat?in the end i gotta use my bros old shelves n drawers which used to be in the study room...i mean i mum did called me to ask abt whether i wana use the old shelves...but she did knw dat i wanted new ones...but she called and juz sae 'hey the old shelves u wana use?they r still new and cost v expensive last....'
before she continue...i juz said 'okok'...y?cos she emphasized on them being new n expensive...means i got no other choice but to sae ok...cos if i say i want new ones...she will start to reason out...sigh...my bro gets to get new shelves n drawers for his new ROOM...but i get the old ones...sigh...sad...first is stay in blacony(kicked out of my room)...then i take my bro's old bed,then flood( n nobody cares)...den old stuffs....sigh...wat more can i sae?sigh...

will stop here...sad...
take care n God Bless~


*anyway, 'this person', i noe that all the while u have been reading my blog...n i guess u go search for it...den found the changed blog add...cos i didnt tell lots of ppl this new since i changed it...that small part i put the other time was on purpose...to confirm if u really noe my blog add...n yup, i'm right...so when r u gona admit that u noe my new blog add n secretly reading it w/o telling me u noe...and still askin me soo many qns when u can noe it from the blog?do u noe such actions of yours doesnt help u at all?*

~i'm so sad~

sigh...no mood...super no mood...when i see my room...the last time i gona see it as mine...cried in my sleep during my last night there...totally demoralised...but there's nothing i can do...sigh...
i have no sae...n i dowana argue...dowan my parents to be angry...and keep using reasons that i'm always not at home to counter me...now...my new room will be at the balcony...room sized halved...clothes cupboard will be at another end of the house...n i feel there's no privacy at all with me moving there...but...that's the decision...i cant do anything...still have to act as if i'm fine with the stupid arrangement...i have nothing to sae...juz gona sae that i'm totally devastated...sad...demoralised...really thank God that i warned them to move my stuff after my exams end...if not i can really say that i will NOT study for my exams as i'm sooo demoralised...
i wana cry out loud...voice my unhappiness...but...i cant...i can onli sob at one corner...without any1 noticing...guess only God noes...sigh...so sad...

~left another hurdle!~

yay~ exams for this term juz over...happy...this is my 2nd last lap...really hope i can clear this...and also my last lap(which will be in June)...den i will be a graduate!!!!haaa...can't wait sia...hmmm...after soo long lor...my life has been so monotonous...work...study...work...study...but am really glad that at least there's one thing that really brighten up my life...is to go church and have God with me...He really bless me alot! esp during my exams...really lor...i can tell u ppl again...i didnt really study for exams...really...but at least i did some minor research that actually helped me abit lah...i did prepare abit of notes...but that doesnt mean i remember wat i've prepared...till like on the day of exam itself (yday n juz now)...i only start to read thru about 3hrs b4 exam start...duno y...i totally nv feel a sense of urgency at all...weird me...usually i will feel it abt at least 3days b4...but this time i did not...n i waste off alot of my time...talk n do nothing...haaa...duno wat's wrong with me...but i really thank God that i really did my best...n i really wrote alot n attempt all questions...the only thing is its relevance...haaa...
anyway my 'study' times are really v interesting for this term...till i didnt really study...one of them is abt me being harrassed by a mad guy in the library...which caused me my time of studying...he's really mad lah...u've got to hear my story if u were to ask me(provided i remember)...duno if he did waited for me outside the library that night cos have got 2 friends who rushed down after their exams to make sure i'm safe...thanks Youyi n Simon...haa...mayb that mad guy was there waiting...but saw me walking out of the library w 2 guys den didnt come near...haaa...sigh...duno y i'm surrounded by mad or perverted ppl...eekz...
anyway...happy exams over...but sian class starts on wed...urrghhh...but nvm...make it quick...so dat i can grad soon...wahahahaha...
sian...tmr gotta go back work(though i was in office today lah...but not for work...shld b for studying...but i wasted my time chit chatting away)...haaa...
k will stop here den...take care ppl
God Bless~~


*btw...i duno y i keep feeling sooooooo irritated or pissed when i see this person's sms and when this person msn me...although this person's intentions are good...but i can't help it but feel pissed n irritated...and it actually affected my mood to study more when i received the sms b4 my exam start...sigh...duno wat's wrong w me sia...SIGH...gotta get rid of this bad attitude of mine...!!!*

~a quote to share...~

Sight is not faith, and hearing is not faith, neither is feeling faith; but believing when we neither see, hear, nor feel is faith; and everywhere in the Bible tells us our salvation is to be by faith. Therefore we must believe before we feel, and often against our feelings, if we would honor God by our faith.

Hannah Whitall Smith

~i miss my...~

best friends...esp Serene Tang and CK...
really miss them alot...haven seen them for quite some time...
was supposed to meet serene but it was either not arranged or both of us not free...sigh...wonder when will i see her...hmmm...hopefully soon...juz soo happy that i can always talk to her in spiritual terms...and that we can give spritual advice to each other...love her lots! always my best fren...always...we've been like frens for 12yrs...but i'v been treating her as my best fren for the past 9 to 10yrs...always in my heart...
i miss ck alot too...but...i duno...juz feel that things are totally different now...and i already expected it...onli a matter of time...n yah...now it's diff already...we somehow like totally nv really contact...i really do wana contact him...talk to him...n resume to wat it was like b4...but i guess it might not ba...many times i wana chat w him online (msn) or sms him or wat...but i didnt...there's a reason to why i didnt...even if we do chat...it's juz only a few sentences...n it stops there...i feel super hurt when it all becomes like this...i really treasure this frenship of 9yrs alot...but...it's juz so diff now...remember i called him on the day when i passed my driving...the reaction or shld i say reply was not wat i expected...was totally disappointed...plus he was like not v interested to talk to me at that moment...nearly cried...sigh...i'm really sad...but i really miss him alot...really wana see him soon...but...but i duno if it will be awkward if i were to meet him...n i guess i canot be so close to him anymore...canot hold on to him while walking...canot rest on his shoulders while resting...SIGH...i'm juz v sad...i really wana be the one to listens to his problems...and helps him by giving gd suggestions...i wana be the one he can turn to n trust...but i guess he didnt regard me as that...that's also y now i didnt look for him when i'm sad n troubled...more often i will juz keep them to myself or talk to God...
feel really blessed as i can always turn to God when i am down...He will never fail me and never forsake me... :)
anyway...though i'm so sad...but nevertheless...i will still love him as much...and will never forget him...will always treat him as my best fren...really...alwayszz...miss him lots...

k i gotta sleep...not feeling well...but cos feel kinda troubled..n really miss these 2 frens of mine...so juz post this...
take gd care...
God Bless~

~congrats to myself~

yah...results are out...n i'm one of the 14 who got promoted...but...instead of being happy...i'm feeling damn confused and sad...sigh...being kinda bothered...y?sigh...also duno how to say...but i'm kinda unhappy abt how much of increment i got...not that alot...and i'm confused cos i duno if i shld move on (quit n go elsewhere) or stay...getting a promotion is good lah...recognition is given...however, i'm juz feeling this shldnt be wat i shld get(pay n position) when i grad (which is soon...)...actually all these while i think i've been underpaid...actually i shldnt say is the company's fault...but mayb myself...cos i went in as an a'lvl grad...that's y i'm graded at that level and given that amt...worked soo hard...yet still not recognised in the 1st 1yr plus...only finally got the recognition in the next yr...which is now...but i'm still far far away from my goal...or even my minimum goal as a going to be graduate...which is the cause of making me confused...shld i slowly work my way up?meaning to continue with this position n pay...n give up the opp cost of getting a more than $2k job...or shld i let go of here and find greener fields?i duno...i really duno...i noe many would say let go and find greener fields...but...i'm juz afraid...afraid that i will be like any other fresh grad who are unable to get a job...shld i hold on to here?BUT...i'm really tired of the management system here...really...n my health deteriorate cos of this job(partly though)...and i feel that i deserve a good and long break from work...meaning i wldnt wana quit here n go to another job immediately after serving 1mth notice...but if i quit first...take my break and find job...i'm afraid i cant find job...how?wat shld i do?
yah...i noe i shld seek God...i WILL seek God...but juz that i wana share how i feel...juz so confused...SIGH...Lord, i need your guidance and i need perserverance...

take care n God Bless~

Quote of the day:
Faith is a strong power, mastering any difficulty in the strength of the Lord who made heaven and earth.
Corrie Ten Boom

~back...~

hey all...i'm back...pasieh have not been blogging for the past 10 over days...juz too lazy to blog i guess...haaaz...
anyway now is lunch time and since i'm browsing the internet, might as well blog abit...
hmmm...within the past 1 week plus, nothing much really happened...other than my bdae a day after i passed my driving...nv intend to celebrate it though...early morning went to giv tuition, thereafter attend class...den went for Edge...got cafe duty too...after Edge and duty, i went out with Serena,Joanne,Jocelyn,Leon and Joel...had dinner...then went Esplanade rooftop...they surprised me with a dark choc cake! so touched though i kinda know they getting me a cake or helping me celebrate when they say they are going esplanade...Thanks darlings...love u all lots...appreciate the trouble u all went to celebrate for me...we went Hong Bao River after that...den home...really enjoyed the time...thanks once again...
hmmm...for the past 2 weekends i got weekend classes...boring lor...esp the classes last week...i keep falling asleep...cos i duno wat is APB abt and i dun understand the lecturer...sigh...how???exams coming soon...worried sia...anyway the past week plus had been quite normal to me...and on both sundays i managed to drive the car and the pick up(under supervision)...but only once for both vehicles...sigh...wonder when can i take the vehicle out to drive out myself...hmmm...yawnzzz...
oh yah afew days ago i started watching Hana Kimi...wah...i didnt know it was so addictive...juz finished them last nite...didnt like the ending though...actually this whole drama is draggy...but...juz as many wld think, they like to watch Wu Chun...he's cute lah...really...hey...seldom will i be 'attracted' to celebrities lor...i even surf net to find out abit more info abt him...the only thing i WOULD NOT do is to be sooo crazy over him and spend my money on his stuff ba...afterall he's juz another human being...haaz...but he's not only cute/handsome, he's tall (wow i love his height)...and his build is wow lor...the thing i miss out is his personality...hmmm...yah dat's abt him...
anyway i will stop here...gotta work...and today Card Centre will be releasing the results for promotion...sigh...duno y i keep having the feeling that i will not get it though there MIGHT be a possibility...sigh...i will juz leave it to God ba...anyway if got promoted is only to SGC...still kinda nothing to me lah...hmmm...
k...byeee...take care..
God Bless~

~yay~

WooHoo~~~
Finally! I'm a Qualified Driver!!! No More learning from instructors!!! soooo happy...
I really really wana Thank God for a few things:
1) Being there for me evey single second (and protecting me,tester n other road users)
2) answering my prayers
3) giving me a good weather (no rain despite the rain everyday!)
4) taking away most of the nervousness(cos still nervous lah)
5) allowing me to learn to control my temper and always be humble(but wonder is dat only valid during this morning...haaaz) - i've said 'yes sir' and 'sorry sir' the most times in my whole life!
6) though giving me a strict tester...he still passed me despite sooooo many mistakes both in circuit n out on the roads...i tell u...when u hear abt the mistakes, u will think dat i shld fail..wahahhaa...i was nervous mah...he kept on say this n dat...make mi gan cheong...haaa
7) and many other things...

The Lord is juz so wonderful, great and Faithful...never fails to bless me...heez...Thank You Lord...

yup yup...happy dat i passed...no need to waste time n money liao...great gift for myself..hee...

k will stop here...take care n God Bless~