~everything i do...~

is always wrong and not appropriate...so sad...sometimes i juz really wana see ppl happy...but yet...before i can do things that made ppl happy, i get 'not so good' comments abt it...it really hurts...cos i'm v sad that watever i wana do or decided,ppl always think it's not good or wat...really sad lor...guess this is why i've always never like making decision...i really never like it...i also never liked organizing things as i'm afraid it might not go well...many stuffs...yah ppl may say cos i didnt think before making the decision, or my decision aren't good...but...each of us have different thinkings...mayb i did think before i decide...but wat i think is right is not wat u think is right...den again...usually, if one say it's no good...some others might 'follow' or agree...some might not...sigh...i duno...all these really made me to hate making decisions...den when i dun make decisions, ppl will say i'm indecisive...SIGH...when will i be right???!!!sometimes i really juz want things to be peaceful where there r no quarrels or watsoever...but it won't...but wat i usually try to do is to keep quiet or 'agree'...juz like when ppl make 'not very nice' comments abt me...sometimes i juz smile it off...or maybe agree...or juz keep quiet...cos i dowana create trouble though i really dun like it at all...i dowana affect frenships...i've encountered failed ones recently...i dowan anymore...i dowana lose frens or ppl ard me...sigh...wat shld i do???sigh...Lord, how should i go abt in handling such things?

anyway gotta work...byee...

God Bless~

~back to fill my blog~

hi all...paiseh hadnt been updating my blog for nearly 2 weeks...anyway...not many ppl read cos not many ppl noe of my changed blog add...so it's ok lah...hmmm...been bz over the past 2 weeks though...but recently was the Chinese New Year...not a bad 1 this yr though...cos relatives from Beijing and Hong Kong are back...missed the kids alot~...glad to see them...but sad that they went back liao...hmmm...aiya lazy to blog abt the past 2 weeks...will juz sae wat happened these 2 days ba...
juz came home abt an hr ago...today is a bz day...early in the morning i prepared myself for church class and church service...went down to futsing...den found out i was at the wrong place...supposed to be at clan association...sigh...nearly gave up going church for today cos it's juz so troublesome...but in the end was persuaded to go...den i went over to aljunied to wait for church bus...the bus didnt come too...some miscomm...we took cabby down...i even missed class...arghh...sigh...den the next 2 wks i gona miss class too cos got sch weekend class...duno if i shld skip morning class n attend church class...hmmm...see how ba...hmmm...after service i went lunch w winnie n family...didnt join the 'other' youths...they seem bz amongst themselves(sigh)...so i left with winnie...after lunch i went home...den awhile later went out w my family to meet up my other relatives for dinner...ate quite alot...even saw Priscillia Chen(Zheng Shi Mei) and her bf (duno wat name)...and one of their fsmily...after dinner went over to my dad's fren house...den home...hmmm...tired...oh yah...Happy Birthday Jin Lun and Jiin Rong~~~
yesterday was also a bz day for me too...but kinda sad abt in the evening and even juz now when i found out smthg...anyway...i woke up super early on sat...cos i changed tuition time to 9am instead of 930am cos i gotta go off early...i took cab down to Masonic Club @Coleman Street...my classmate's ROM...didnt get to see the solemnization cos i was late...so only went for the lunch...thereafter went to do some catch up with ex classmates n classmate(from my uni)...den headed down to Edge after i got something for Jinlun...actually been thinking of wat to get for him for v long...but still duno...so in the end bought Timberland's voucher for him...hope he uses it...went to The Edge...sermon was good...somehow of a breakthrough...but sad...sad cos i wasnt ministered to(or prayed for) during alter call...still feel kinda lost though...left quickly after alter call...anway...to talk abt wat i'm sad abt...is dat yah...again...but guess i'll have to accept the fact...that i'm really not remembered or mayb not regarded as their frens at all liao...i duno lah...mayb its juz the sensitive me again...but yah...i wasnt asked to attend Jinlun's birthday celebration...actually i duno if it's a party or wat...but i somehow noe they are gona celebrate for him after service...i noe i did tell serena during service i gona leave early cos i've got smthg on...but that doesnt mean she canot let me noe...plus i juz found out some1 was even invited to join them but he canot attend...means that it canot be that last evening they actually wana ask mi along but cos noe i've got smthg on...so didnt...but is that they have planned it earlier...but juz didnt include me...my heart is totally shattered...totally...wondering if i shld giv up this frenship...sigh...or guess its juz really gona be a 'hi-bye' frenship liao...a frenship which i really hope to treasure and love... now...juz shattered into pieces...i'm really very sad...i mean yah...yday's sermon was very good...abt us carrying many baggage w us...'Offence', Injustice','Bitterness','Revenge' and one more...afew bags really describes me...and i thought i was set free after going for alter call(though wasnt prayed for though i really needed 1...not noticed again...but nvm...)...but...after i found out that the sum1 was even invited...but i was not even told at all...i was juz so sad...n all those feeling i felt b4 abt them came back...injustice...bitterness...and so on...guess i wasnt really set free at all...sigh...i really duno wat to do...really need God...need God to guide me thru this time...hmmm...but in anyway...i'm really sad...sigh...guess dat 1 incident really caused a huge damage to the frenship...always been wanting to blame that sum1 that if he didnt go tell them i'm sad...or watsoever(i duno wat happened)...all these wldnt have happened...but...yah...shldnt blame him...sigh...anyway...yah...after i left Edge...i took cab to Magdeline's house to Bai Nian...Tracy n Daniel went too...not bad...we chatted quite alot...ate alot...see pics...thereafter i went home...tiring day too...heez...

k lah will stop here...anyway...kinda nervous...cos my TP on Friday morning...really pray hard i will pass this one time...haaz...and yah...i got test on wed...arghh...i duno wat is APB abt man...oh no...essay somemore...sian...
nitez all...

God Bless~

~am i mean?~

hmmm...i feel bad...the issue is bothering me...since juz now...y? cos i feedback to SSDC's management abt an instructor...guess if you have been reading my blog, you shld noe who izzit...it's car 26...sigh...i really have no choice...i really wldnt wana use dat last resort...but...yah...i've used it...u noe it's always dreadful to go for driving lessons, and feeling super unhappy when i see number 26?i will always say short prayers hoping that it will not be car 26...but it always turns out to be him...it happened today too...n it really made me feel the urge to ask whether i can request not to have a certain instructor...cos if it continues to be him...i will sure not be able to learn my driving properly...really...cos i'm always 'quarrelling' with him...n he always think he's rite...n he always confused me of what i've learnt b4...making me even more nervous...afraid i wldnt be able to pass my driving...sigh...actually my intention was only to ask the counter ppl whether is it possible not to have a certain instructor...in the end i was immediately directed to the in-charge of such cases...den really boh bian...i have to tell them...so i gave them the reasons to why i do not want this instructor to teach me...they immediately changed my instructor for me...however, the most kuku thing is that they still gave me the same car (which was supposed to be that instructor's permanent car)...n switched him w another instructor's car...which was just beside...n guess what? he actually experienced many of such feedback cases too...and the car they usually change him with is the other same instructor...sigh...this means that he noes that i complained abt him...very obvious...at first i didnt noe he will noe...but having to remember a look(stare) i saw on this face at me b4 i went into car 26 and he going into the car bside...i realised that he noes...n noe dat it's me...sigh...i really feel bad lor...wonder how will it affect him...i mean at times i can talk to him well...i changed him away so that i can really concentrate n learn well...one thing i cannot stand abt him is his arrogance...always thinking he's rite n stuff...when he's not lah...hmmm...sigh...feel really bad u noe...but yah...no choice...wat's done canot be undone...hmmm...hope this feedback wldnt cause him his job sia...hmm...okok...will stop here...gotta sleep early...tired...nightz to all...

take care n God Bless~

grrrrr!!!!

ANGRY!!!!!!
stupid boss...juz as i thought that he's kinda changed...seldom scold or blame...BUT...grrr...he scolded me for no reason when it's not my fault!!!kaoz...i mean i really dun really know where's the most updated numbers as i'm not handling that...yet he assumes i should know...(someone in his cubicle wana get some numbers...duno he's scared of him or what...)...den he asked to me ask another colleague which is the most updated (since Florence not around)...but he's on the line and i think it's not good to disturb him...so i waited till he hang up the fone b4 approaching him...but my boss called me b4 he hangs up...and scolded me lor...he scolded me in mandarin " why so long haven give me an answer? you see lah, now ppl go off liao. you should know he doesn't like to wait. why everytime ask you to do something you canot do it properly one?"...den i replied " but he's on the line wat!" den he said " y canot juz ask him? only awhile wat!" den...he goes on scolding and blaming me, den slammed the fone! grrr...angry lor...hey it's not my fault lor...and he's so contradicting! this morning...or any other time, i wanted him to confirm with me whether the report can be distributed (he muz vet thru first)...den he scolded me " can't you see i'm bz? u always choose the wrong time to find me"...i mean...everything he does it correct and muz be answered immediately...but watever we do is wrong...shit lah...angry...so unfair lor...grrr...
hmmm...sian lah...duno wat to sae...so angry liao...
but in any way, i really muz thank God for His faithfulness...how He really see me thru...remember i've blogged about how He answered my prayers and that i have to go on and stay in this current job? i was really unwilling...but i will still follow God's plan though...i really followed, though in my heart really wonder how am i to take all the crap at work...but God, being so faithful...really blessed me all the way since the time i deciced to follow His way...the following Monday, after the saturday's vision, i went to work with a heavy heart...but my boss on mc...i was so happy lah!...den the next day, he's back...but from that day onwards, tho' he's still scolding at times, the number of times i got scolded is really v little...me and some other colleagues were kinda shocked lah...but he really talked to us nicely...but 1 thing is also cos he got high blood pressure...so it's not good for him to get angry...but it's really unexpected that his temper changed quite alot lor...Praise the Lord for being so wonderful and never load us with things beyond our limits!...heez...but den again...my boss is kinda mad juz now...sigh...but really poor me lah...got scolded for things which doesn't concern me...sigh...

anyway gotta go back to work...byeeeee...

God Bless~