~sigh~

sigh...my health has really been very unpredictable these days...at one period of time, i can be totally fine, but at the next moment, i will go back into vomitting and feeling uneasy...sigh...juz really hate such things happening to me...at times i really cannot take it anymore and really hope all will end off...sigh...anyway my doc is back from reservist...so i went to visit him (at the clinic) on Monday morning...i told him what had happened during the 3plus weeks he's not around...really suffering man( at one period of time)...sigh...anyway, as usual, medicine increase...more to take...plus 1 more treatment - treating my mental health...sigh...guess i'm going mad...he asked me to list down all the things i think that affects me or stress me (more of unresolved matters)...have already get the list more or less done...will email it to him soon...which means 1st session's gona start soon...
guess what? actually my list did not include my work, cos i think i'm happy with what i am doing now and my new environment...but yesterday i added work in...really sad...been really bothered by itactually since i came into the new environment...but i thought it might get better...but did not...sigh...i'm happy at work now cos i learn alot and get to do afew new projects, one of which is doing up charts and getting it linked to powerpoint, thereafter put into a webpage for the different product managers(of credit card) to view...though webpage not done by me(cos i dont know how to), but i did most of the charts and linking of powerpoint. I really put in my best effort(even brought it home over the weekends to do) and really wana see it successful. This webpage will be launching soon and i'm really happy. But what i'm bothered about is that i feel i did soo much, maybe my hardwork is seen...but i feel i'm not appreciated...really sad abt it...keep wanting to cry when i think about it...my supervisor is really a nice person who taught me alot of things and the 1 who asked me to handle this project...but i feel whenever there's other things more impt about this project, he will consult or discuss with my other colleague and i really feel left out...totally...i mean i'm part of this project, but y leave me out of the discussion? i just feel i'm only being made to do those troublesome parts...i feel i can get any credit out of it...nobody recognised it...feel that i'm just visible when needed help to do the base work...but invisible when the light is shining...but not on me...sigh...i really dont know what to do...i really love what i'm doing...really wana do my best and excel to as high as possible...i think i'm doing well...but unseen...i'm really very sad...i really do not know what to do...these nearly 2yrs doing this management reporting, i've worked my best, there are worse times too...but...i do not get any credit...arghhhhh...really frustrated...and it's getting on my emotions...where it will hit my health...sigh...really sad...
cant continue liao...will stop here...think will cry if i go on...take care
God Bless...