~can't take it anymore~

AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i just hate taking medicine...the thought of it makes me feel even more sick...every morning...when i get up and brush teeth and wash my face...at anytime...i will feel nauseas...even to the point to be vomitting..or even the action of it since nothing came out...first...when i wake up...my stomach will already be feeling uncomfy...den nauseasness takes place...after the process of 'vomitting',i will feel terribly uncomfy...to even the point of dropping tears...thereafter, the thought of having to take my medicine...i really cried...slowly...will take my medicines out...about 8 tablets or so...2 of which i have to chew...which makes me wana cry even more...every tablet into my mouth, my tear drops...usually...this will happen at home in my room where nobody sees...i do not even dare to show my uncomfortness in front of my parents...cos i know they will nag or scold mi...which will lead to lots of restrictions...
juz like yesterday...i called home to ask my mum whether they are going out for dinner...she said yes...i asked her what time and she told mi abt 630 to 645pm...i even told her i'm at bugis...she's the 1 who said will call mi again to see if will fetch me...(which is most prob)...so dat's y i didnt go home first...then 645 came...but still no calls from her...so i called her and asked...i told her that if it's too late den i will be eating out...cos i'm really hungry...but she doesnt allow...she wants mi to go along (partly cos if i dun go my dad will b unhappy)...so...i wait...she said wait another 5mins...in the end is abt 15mins...den my gastric starts to react...feel v pain...then my bro and dad arrived...he asked why i looked so serious...den i told him i got gastric pain...then he got angry and said mi...say if so pain y i dun go eat first?there's no need for mi to join them...(if not wrong the tone of his is that he thinks i dowana have dinner w them...dat's y give that excuse)...but...y doesnt he understand?i took the effort to call home and ask if they are meeting for dinner...but...what i received were unhappy voices...scoldings...they misunderstood me...guess now whenever i'm in pain...gotta vomit or even vomit...i canot let them know...what's the point? they will blame it on any other things they could think of instead of being concerned...i really feel so lost...i'm already sick of my medicines...now...i even have to act that i'm healthy in front of my parents...that's the best i can do...i guess...guess nobody understands my woes and sorrows...Except God...but...nvm...will not elaborate much...oh yah...altho i gotta go thru all these difficulties at home where no one will b concerned...i really appreciate frens out there who really take the effort to shower mi with care and concern...which i'm really happy abt...thanks alot all frens out there who are there for me...and oh...some of my dearest cousins and aunties and uncles too...thanks!...hmmm...k will stop here...gotta work...byeee

God Bless~