sigh...my health has really been very unpredictable these days...at one period of time, i can be totally fine, but at the next moment, i will go back into vomitting and feeling uneasy...sigh...juz really hate such things happening to me...at times i really cannot take it anymore and really hope all will end off...sigh...anyway my doc is back from reservist...so i went to visit him (at the clinic) on Monday morning...i told him what had happened during the 3plus weeks he's not around...really suffering man( at one period of time)...sigh...anyway, as usual, medicine increase...more to take...plus 1 more treatment - treating my mental health...sigh...guess i'm going mad...he asked me to list down all the things i think that affects me or stress me (more of unresolved matters)...have already get the list more or less done...will email it to him soon...which means 1st session's gona start soon...
guess what? actually my list did not include my work, cos i think i'm happy with what i am doing now and my new environment...but yesterday i added work in...really sad...been really bothered by itactually since i came into the new environment...but i thought it might get better...but did not...sigh...i'm happy at work now cos i learn alot and get to do afew new projects, one of which is doing up charts and getting it linked to powerpoint, thereafter put into a webpage for the different product managers(of credit card) to view...though webpage not done by me(cos i dont know how to), but i did most of the charts and linking of powerpoint. I really put in my best effort(even brought it home over the weekends to do) and really wana see it successful. This webpage will be launching soon and i'm really happy. But what i'm bothered about is that i feel i did soo much, maybe my hardwork is seen...but i feel i'm not appreciated...really sad abt it...keep wanting to cry when i think about it...my supervisor is really a nice person who taught me alot of things and the 1 who asked me to handle this project...but i feel whenever there's other things more impt about this project, he will consult or discuss with my other colleague and i really feel left out...totally...i mean i'm part of this project, but y leave me out of the discussion? i just feel i'm only being made to do those troublesome parts...i feel i can get any credit out of it...nobody recognised it...feel that i'm just visible when needed help to do the base work...but invisible when the light is shining...but not on me...sigh...i really dont know what to do...i really love what i'm doing...really wana do my best and excel to as high as possible...i think i'm doing well...but unseen...i'm really very sad...i really do not know what to do...these nearly 2yrs doing this management reporting, i've worked my best, there are worse times too...but...i do not get any credit...arghhhhh...really frustrated...and it's getting on my emotions...where it will hit my health...sigh...really sad...
cant continue liao...will stop here...think will cry if i go on...take care
God Bless...
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
~felt better~
the past few days i've been feeling alot better in terms of health...except at time abit of gastric pains...vomit once or twice...quite happy cos guess health is improving bit by bit...not only that...my emotional health is getting better...less of crying already...realy thank ppl around me...and most of all...thank God...He's the best...i've actually have been quite distant away from God for a period of time...really wana spend time talking to God...but just like now, am 'addicted' to distractive stuff like the computer...and by the time i stop using...i'm too tired for devotion time...really have been neglecting God alot...i only have super short talks with Him b4 i sleep or when i'm walking alone...and in church in too...but i've not done the most important thing which is to read His Word...however, now i'm reading some books given by some friends...these are all Christian books...though is still not a Bible, at least they are somethings that will in a way or other bring me closer to God...but still, nothing beats reading the bible...i really really need to have the discipline on this...
anyway, 2dae i OT till abt 8pm...was thinking of going out...but i think it's something God planned, i eventually went home...duno whether is something good or bad, i went home and had a 3hr quarrel cum talk with my parents...actually my dad has always been angry with me cos he doesnt like my current lifestyle...out early in the morning and home abt 10plus or so...he keeps wondering y i do not need any rest at all...and he's unhappy i'm not always at home n feels i dun love home and family at all...actually i really really do love my family alot...appreciated them alot for bringing me up...guess still...i do not noe how to express...the quarrel was kinda bad till he said he do not want to care abt me anymore...was really sad...the quarrel was filled with tears...for me...my dad, is sum1 who cares and loves me most in the family...without him and his strictness, i wouldnt be who i am now...actually i will really be devastated if he really were to not care about me anymore...love my dad whole lots...but...i guess i'm brought up in an environment where we do not express love for each other even if we really do...each of us family members are like that...how i envy friends whom i hear that they hugged and kissed their parents...say 'i love you' to them...would always wonder why not mine?but still, it is lived this way...guess it cant be changed much...been that man years already...but that doesnt stop me from loving them...only that the way i express is not what they want...that is why my dad is disappointed in me...how i really wish he understands my situation...ppl would say that i should tell him...but to me it's difficult...tried telling him...but his traditional thinking wouldnt budge...so it's kinda no use...and actually i all the while really wana work hard at work...show my worth...(which i felt that not many noticed)...study hard...and eventually earn much more so that i can provide more for them...but still...wat they want is me to be at home...really trying hard now though...
anyway the quarrel digressed...means its actually not really solved...i mean the problem...however, the other topic we talked about actually made mi understand them more...something good...it's on something about the whole big family...misunderstandings of the older generations and stuff...anyway these batch of people are old and mature enough to handle these problems...i wouldnt care much...but what i really hope is that all of their misunderstandings do not affect the younger generation...i really treasure my relationships with my cousins...they are the people who will grow old together with me...that's y i feel that our relationship should be close...i really hope things of the older generation will not happen...
sometimes i really wonder how God does the unexpected...u will really be amazed...although the problem with my dad is not solved, God planned it that i go home earlier juz to at least bring back the bonds with my parents(though it still includes the quarrel)...i noe my dad now feels alot better...cos we really sat down and spend time to talk(the digression part)...
anyway...i really gotta do some reflection on myself too...my attitude...been really too stubborn...whole family has been like that...really gotta spend time and talk to God to give me the strength and wisdom to handle matters esp at home...as for work and studies, He has always been constantly blessing me...good supervisor and colleague, good group members for assignments...i can reall admit till now i really duno much about what i've studied in these 2yrs...but i managed to pass...some even with fairly good results...all these are really God's blessings...i mean i will also have to thank frens around me who helped too...but still, wihout God, i guessed i might not have come till this point...but, i still have to try and do my part by doing revision and stuff...yup...hmmz...
aniway will stop here...take gd care...
God Bless~
anyway, 2dae i OT till abt 8pm...was thinking of going out...but i think it's something God planned, i eventually went home...duno whether is something good or bad, i went home and had a 3hr quarrel cum talk with my parents...actually my dad has always been angry with me cos he doesnt like my current lifestyle...out early in the morning and home abt 10plus or so...he keeps wondering y i do not need any rest at all...and he's unhappy i'm not always at home n feels i dun love home and family at all...actually i really really do love my family alot...appreciated them alot for bringing me up...guess still...i do not noe how to express...the quarrel was kinda bad till he said he do not want to care abt me anymore...was really sad...the quarrel was filled with tears...for me...my dad, is sum1 who cares and loves me most in the family...without him and his strictness, i wouldnt be who i am now...actually i will really be devastated if he really were to not care about me anymore...love my dad whole lots...but...i guess i'm brought up in an environment where we do not express love for each other even if we really do...each of us family members are like that...how i envy friends whom i hear that they hugged and kissed their parents...say 'i love you' to them...would always wonder why not mine?but still, it is lived this way...guess it cant be changed much...been that man years already...but that doesnt stop me from loving them...only that the way i express is not what they want...that is why my dad is disappointed in me...how i really wish he understands my situation...ppl would say that i should tell him...but to me it's difficult...tried telling him...but his traditional thinking wouldnt budge...so it's kinda no use...and actually i all the while really wana work hard at work...show my worth...(which i felt that not many noticed)...study hard...and eventually earn much more so that i can provide more for them...but still...wat they want is me to be at home...really trying hard now though...
anyway the quarrel digressed...means its actually not really solved...i mean the problem...however, the other topic we talked about actually made mi understand them more...something good...it's on something about the whole big family...misunderstandings of the older generations and stuff...anyway these batch of people are old and mature enough to handle these problems...i wouldnt care much...but what i really hope is that all of their misunderstandings do not affect the younger generation...i really treasure my relationships with my cousins...they are the people who will grow old together with me...that's y i feel that our relationship should be close...i really hope things of the older generation will not happen...
sometimes i really wonder how God does the unexpected...u will really be amazed...although the problem with my dad is not solved, God planned it that i go home earlier juz to at least bring back the bonds with my parents(though it still includes the quarrel)...i noe my dad now feels alot better...cos we really sat down and spend time to talk(the digression part)...
anyway...i really gotta do some reflection on myself too...my attitude...been really too stubborn...whole family has been like that...really gotta spend time and talk to God to give me the strength and wisdom to handle matters esp at home...as for work and studies, He has always been constantly blessing me...good supervisor and colleague, good group members for assignments...i can reall admit till now i really duno much about what i've studied in these 2yrs...but i managed to pass...some even with fairly good results...all these are really God's blessings...i mean i will also have to thank frens around me who helped too...but still, wihout God, i guessed i might not have come till this point...but, i still have to try and do my part by doing revision and stuff...yup...hmmz...
aniway will stop here...take gd care...
God Bless~
Saturday, August 19, 2006
~health getting worse???~
Sigh~...duno what's happening to my health...getting worse each day...even with medication...and taking more of bland food...sigh...
past few days been vomiting and vomiting whenever possible...sometimes i'm really getting tired of it...very xin ku u noe...but i cant do anything...but still thank many people for showering me with loads of concern...sigh...i really miss my doc...he went for reservist and will onli be back at the end of month...means i gotta 'suffer' for the next few weeks...cos only he knows my condition and tell me what to do...say for today(friday)...was having kinda a bad time at work...not abt work but my health...i rushed to the toilet twice to vomit...and my whole body just feel uncomfortable...so i told my supervisor and went back...i noe my doc isnt ard...but i still went to the clinic at my place(for MC too)...pathethic...no patients(though is a good thing lah)...but most patients when they noe that the doc isnt the doc i usually see...they wun go...dat is wy at that time nobody at all...i went in...he juz sat at the chair in a slack position...and asked me what happended...i told him is my usual symptoms...den he was like duno what to do...asked me what do i want...he sae he cant do anything except giving more medicine which i already have...so i juz told him to give mi my MC instead...n left...see what i mean?he doesnt know anything!i mean he may know alot abt being a doctor...but he doesnt know how to deal with my condition...see him also no use...really miss my doc man...
after i got my MC...i went home n sleep...for abt 5 hrs i think...den wash up and went to my place nearby coffeeshop to have some porridge and went for class...on my way...i duno y...keep thinking alots of things again...and i really cant remember what i was thinking abt...den keep crying...in the day i cried too cos i juz cant take it that i kept vomiting...then when i was in class...at certain points of time...i teared abit again...but nobody saw...covered my face...and have got gastric pain...when when i'm on my way home...i teared too...juz duno why...is this really symptoms of depression?how is depression like?sigh...n i went home n vomitted again...i really find it very xin ku...and i feel that when i get home...i gotta put on another front that i'm simply fine and healthy...1st is not to worry my parents...2nd is to prevent myself from getting nagged or scolded at...n being blamed that i caused this upon myself...sigh...wonder how long is this going to be like...a colleague of mine kept advising me to think of happy thoughts...but it's really difficult to void off those unhappy ones...or troubled ones...at times i really do not noe what to do...do pray at times...guess i'm not desperate enough...have i given up on myself?i really duno...sigh...
many advise me to go on a break...but i really do not have enough leave...and i cant bear to leave my work juz like that...my work is very impt to me and i take my work v seriously...i can rather not go relax and sink myself into work...and there's also no way for me to leave work juz like that...cos there's some daily report that have to be sent out everyday...and i've got to do it...and there are other work which no one noes how to do it...so how am i to go for a break?i have to be at my work always...and at this period of time, the colleagues whom i think might have to learn to do my stuff(to be my back up) is very bz with other areas of work...i also wldnt want to burden her with more of my work...so dat's y...hmmm...
anyway gotta stop here...being nagged to sleep...nitez all...take care
God Bless n Love all of ya...
siyin-ann
past few days been vomiting and vomiting whenever possible...sometimes i'm really getting tired of it...very xin ku u noe...but i cant do anything...but still thank many people for showering me with loads of concern...sigh...i really miss my doc...he went for reservist and will onli be back at the end of month...means i gotta 'suffer' for the next few weeks...cos only he knows my condition and tell me what to do...say for today(friday)...was having kinda a bad time at work...not abt work but my health...i rushed to the toilet twice to vomit...and my whole body just feel uncomfortable...so i told my supervisor and went back...i noe my doc isnt ard...but i still went to the clinic at my place(for MC too)...pathethic...no patients(though is a good thing lah)...but most patients when they noe that the doc isnt the doc i usually see...they wun go...dat is wy at that time nobody at all...i went in...he juz sat at the chair in a slack position...and asked me what happended...i told him is my usual symptoms...den he was like duno what to do...asked me what do i want...he sae he cant do anything except giving more medicine which i already have...so i juz told him to give mi my MC instead...n left...see what i mean?he doesnt know anything!i mean he may know alot abt being a doctor...but he doesnt know how to deal with my condition...see him also no use...really miss my doc man...
after i got my MC...i went home n sleep...for abt 5 hrs i think...den wash up and went to my place nearby coffeeshop to have some porridge and went for class...on my way...i duno y...keep thinking alots of things again...and i really cant remember what i was thinking abt...den keep crying...in the day i cried too cos i juz cant take it that i kept vomiting...then when i was in class...at certain points of time...i teared abit again...but nobody saw...covered my face...and have got gastric pain...when when i'm on my way home...i teared too...juz duno why...is this really symptoms of depression?how is depression like?sigh...n i went home n vomitted again...i really find it very xin ku...and i feel that when i get home...i gotta put on another front that i'm simply fine and healthy...1st is not to worry my parents...2nd is to prevent myself from getting nagged or scolded at...n being blamed that i caused this upon myself...sigh...wonder how long is this going to be like...a colleague of mine kept advising me to think of happy thoughts...but it's really difficult to void off those unhappy ones...or troubled ones...at times i really do not noe what to do...do pray at times...guess i'm not desperate enough...have i given up on myself?i really duno...sigh...
many advise me to go on a break...but i really do not have enough leave...and i cant bear to leave my work juz like that...my work is very impt to me and i take my work v seriously...i can rather not go relax and sink myself into work...and there's also no way for me to leave work juz like that...cos there's some daily report that have to be sent out everyday...and i've got to do it...and there are other work which no one noes how to do it...so how am i to go for a break?i have to be at my work always...and at this period of time, the colleagues whom i think might have to learn to do my stuff(to be my back up) is very bz with other areas of work...i also wldnt want to burden her with more of my work...so dat's y...hmmm...
anyway gotta stop here...being nagged to sleep...nitez all...take care
God Bless n Love all of ya...
siyin-ann
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
~unstable mood~
hey peeps...my mood hasnt been any good these past few days...mind's in a mess...duno wat to do...juz hope things will slowly get better and my life get back on track...
take care...
God Bless~
take care...
God Bless~
Monday, August 14, 2006
~don't be mistaken~
hey all...dont be mistaken that i'm all out to say how bad my parents are and how they treat me...they actually treat me really really well...without them...i wouldnt be here i am now...they are just so wonderful in taking care of me and bringing me up...and i really love them loads even though i am always frustrated with them...but...they always think that i do not love my home at all...guess i duno how to express ba...that's me...yup... :)
~can't take it anymore~
AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
i just hate taking medicine...the thought of it makes me feel even more sick...every morning...when i get up and brush teeth and wash my face...at anytime...i will feel nauseas...even to the point to be vomitting..or even the action of it since nothing came out...first...when i wake up...my stomach will already be feeling uncomfy...den nauseasness takes place...after the process of 'vomitting',i will feel terribly uncomfy...to even the point of dropping tears...thereafter, the thought of having to take my medicine...i really cried...slowly...will take my medicines out...about 8 tablets or so...2 of which i have to chew...which makes me wana cry even more...every tablet into my mouth, my tear drops...usually...this will happen at home in my room where nobody sees...i do not even dare to show my uncomfortness in front of my parents...cos i know they will nag or scold mi...which will lead to lots of restrictions...
juz like yesterday...i called home to ask my mum whether they are going out for dinner...she said yes...i asked her what time and she told mi abt 630 to 645pm...i even told her i'm at bugis...she's the 1 who said will call mi again to see if will fetch me...(which is most prob)...so dat's y i didnt go home first...then 645 came...but still no calls from her...so i called her and asked...i told her that if it's too late den i will be eating out...cos i'm really hungry...but she doesnt allow...she wants mi to go along (partly cos if i dun go my dad will b unhappy)...so...i wait...she said wait another 5mins...in the end is abt 15mins...den my gastric starts to react...feel v pain...then my bro and dad arrived...he asked why i looked so serious...den i told him i got gastric pain...then he got angry and said mi...say if so pain y i dun go eat first?there's no need for mi to join them...(if not wrong the tone of his is that he thinks i dowana have dinner w them...dat's y give that excuse)...but...y doesnt he understand?i took the effort to call home and ask if they are meeting for dinner...but...what i received were unhappy voices...scoldings...they misunderstood me...guess now whenever i'm in pain...gotta vomit or even vomit...i canot let them know...what's the point? they will blame it on any other things they could think of instead of being concerned...i really feel so lost...i'm already sick of my medicines...now...i even have to act that i'm healthy in front of my parents...that's the best i can do...i guess...guess nobody understands my woes and sorrows...Except God...but...nvm...will not elaborate much...oh yah...altho i gotta go thru all these difficulties at home where no one will b concerned...i really appreciate frens out there who really take the effort to shower mi with care and concern...which i'm really happy abt...thanks alot all frens out there who are there for me...and oh...some of my dearest cousins and aunties and uncles too...thanks!...hmmm...k will stop here...gotta work...byeee
God Bless~
i just hate taking medicine...the thought of it makes me feel even more sick...every morning...when i get up and brush teeth and wash my face...at anytime...i will feel nauseas...even to the point to be vomitting..or even the action of it since nothing came out...first...when i wake up...my stomach will already be feeling uncomfy...den nauseasness takes place...after the process of 'vomitting',i will feel terribly uncomfy...to even the point of dropping tears...thereafter, the thought of having to take my medicine...i really cried...slowly...will take my medicines out...about 8 tablets or so...2 of which i have to chew...which makes me wana cry even more...every tablet into my mouth, my tear drops...usually...this will happen at home in my room where nobody sees...i do not even dare to show my uncomfortness in front of my parents...cos i know they will nag or scold mi...which will lead to lots of restrictions...
juz like yesterday...i called home to ask my mum whether they are going out for dinner...she said yes...i asked her what time and she told mi abt 630 to 645pm...i even told her i'm at bugis...she's the 1 who said will call mi again to see if will fetch me...(which is most prob)...so dat's y i didnt go home first...then 645 came...but still no calls from her...so i called her and asked...i told her that if it's too late den i will be eating out...cos i'm really hungry...but she doesnt allow...she wants mi to go along (partly cos if i dun go my dad will b unhappy)...so...i wait...she said wait another 5mins...in the end is abt 15mins...den my gastric starts to react...feel v pain...then my bro and dad arrived...he asked why i looked so serious...den i told him i got gastric pain...then he got angry and said mi...say if so pain y i dun go eat first?there's no need for mi to join them...(if not wrong the tone of his is that he thinks i dowana have dinner w them...dat's y give that excuse)...but...y doesnt he understand?i took the effort to call home and ask if they are meeting for dinner...but...what i received were unhappy voices...scoldings...they misunderstood me...guess now whenever i'm in pain...gotta vomit or even vomit...i canot let them know...what's the point? they will blame it on any other things they could think of instead of being concerned...i really feel so lost...i'm already sick of my medicines...now...i even have to act that i'm healthy in front of my parents...that's the best i can do...i guess...guess nobody understands my woes and sorrows...Except God...but...nvm...will not elaborate much...oh yah...altho i gotta go thru all these difficulties at home where no one will b concerned...i really appreciate frens out there who really take the effort to shower mi with care and concern...which i'm really happy abt...thanks alot all frens out there who are there for me...and oh...some of my dearest cousins and aunties and uncles too...thanks!...hmmm...k will stop here...gotta work...byeee
God Bless~
Friday, August 04, 2006
~i'm learning~
Hi peeps...more updates of me again...heez...
Hmm...time past very fast...and i've been at my new place for about 2weeks already...n i survived it and still doing well...heez...many of my colleagues in 18th floor kept asking how am i up there(25th floor)...the 1st thing i will answer them is " Wo An Jing Duo le"...which means i've become alot quieter already...the usual chatty and talkative and loud me has now become sort of quiet...why? cos i'm sitting near many big shots...so no choice...gotta tone down...but i find it better lah...haaz...and another thing is that i've slacked even lesser...always on the go with my work...chat less on msn...and surf less net...haaz...coz behind me sits someone...wldnt say who..but i muz be careful of my actions and what i do at work...anyway...i guess such arrangements for me at work is good lah...so that i can concentrate more on work..learn more...and excel...heezzz...
oh yah...about my title...yup...i'm slowly learning more and more things...today i've learnt new things too..and i'm really happy that i again have the chance to really sit down with people and talk and discuss about new things or even existing issues that needs to be raised and understood...although i admit i have short term memory(STM)...usually will forget what i've learnt...but i know if i keep trying to remember it...it will be beneficial to me...just now did OT...cos' doing month end closing reports...but after that i have some discussions with my supervisor...he wants me to do up charts for enhancement of the reports i've been doing so that the product managers will be able to understand the whole report in an easier manner...n guess what? i have to do up close to 100 charts lor...grrr...but nvm...learning process...he also taught me some tricks about doing up the charts...heez...after that...we had discussions on a part of the credit card biz...and i'm really glad to ahave such discussions...so nice to know more things...heez...now also got to understand more new terms which i do not understand last time...really appreciate him taking the time to sit down with me and another colleague(also another blessing from God as she's always keen to teach me when she can--a christian too :) )...and discuss work related matters...really thank God for all this...cos i've always been wanting to leave...cos not learning...n pay little(still as little now)...but at least now am learning lots...which helps a great deal when i look for job next time...as for my pay and position...i'm still working hard for it...
anyway...i used to think my 'new life' (in a bad sense) has started when i shifted up...but indeed my 'new life' has started...but...in a good way...n i'm glad abt it...hope nothing bad shatters my thoughts...heez...
k will stop here...
take gd care...God Bless...
byeeee
Hmm...time past very fast...and i've been at my new place for about 2weeks already...n i survived it and still doing well...heez...many of my colleagues in 18th floor kept asking how am i up there(25th floor)...the 1st thing i will answer them is " Wo An Jing Duo le"...which means i've become alot quieter already...the usual chatty and talkative and loud me has now become sort of quiet...why? cos i'm sitting near many big shots...so no choice...gotta tone down...but i find it better lah...haaz...and another thing is that i've slacked even lesser...always on the go with my work...chat less on msn...and surf less net...haaz...coz behind me sits someone...wldnt say who..but i muz be careful of my actions and what i do at work...anyway...i guess such arrangements for me at work is good lah...so that i can concentrate more on work..learn more...and excel...heezzz...
oh yah...about my title...yup...i'm slowly learning more and more things...today i've learnt new things too..and i'm really happy that i again have the chance to really sit down with people and talk and discuss about new things or even existing issues that needs to be raised and understood...although i admit i have short term memory(STM)...usually will forget what i've learnt...but i know if i keep trying to remember it...it will be beneficial to me...just now did OT...cos' doing month end closing reports...but after that i have some discussions with my supervisor...he wants me to do up charts for enhancement of the reports i've been doing so that the product managers will be able to understand the whole report in an easier manner...n guess what? i have to do up close to 100 charts lor...grrr...but nvm...learning process...he also taught me some tricks about doing up the charts...heez...after that...we had discussions on a part of the credit card biz...and i'm really glad to ahave such discussions...so nice to know more things...heez...now also got to understand more new terms which i do not understand last time...really appreciate him taking the time to sit down with me and another colleague(also another blessing from God as she's always keen to teach me when she can--a christian too :) )...and discuss work related matters...really thank God for all this...cos i've always been wanting to leave...cos not learning...n pay little(still as little now)...but at least now am learning lots...which helps a great deal when i look for job next time...as for my pay and position...i'm still working hard for it...
anyway...i used to think my 'new life' (in a bad sense) has started when i shifted up...but indeed my 'new life' has started...but...in a good way...n i'm glad abt it...hope nothing bad shatters my thoughts...heez...
k will stop here...
take gd care...God Bless...
byeeee
~i'm learning~
Hi peeps...more updates of me again...heez...
Hmm...time past very fast...and i've been at my new place for about 2weeks already...n i survived it and still doing well...heez...many of my colleagues in 18th floor kept asking how am i up there(25th floor)...the 1st thing i will answer them is " Wo An Jing Duo le"...which means i've become alot quieter already...the usual chatty and talkative and loud me has now become sort of quiet...why? cos i'm sitting near many big shots...so no choice...gotta tone down...but i find it better lah...haaz...and another thing is that i've slacked even lesser...always on the go with my work...chat less on msn...and surf less net...haaz...coz behind me sits someone...wldnt say who..but i muz be careful of my actions and what i do at work...anyway...i guess such arrangements for me at work is good lah...so that i can concentrate more on work..learn more...and excel...heezzz...
oh yah...about my title...yup...i'm slowly learning more and more things...today i've learnt new things too..and i'm really happy that i again have the chance to really sit down with people and talk and discuss about new things or even existing issues that needs to be raised and understood...although i admit i have short term memory(STM)...usually will forget what i've learnt...but i know if i keep trying to remember it...it will be beneficial to me...just now did OT...cos' doing month end closing reports...but after that i have some discussions with my supervisor...he wants me to do up charts for enhancement of the reports i've been doing so that the product managers will be able to understand the whole report in an easier manner...n guess what? i have to do up close to 100 charts lor...grrr...but nvm...learning process...he also taught me some tricks about doing up the charts...heez...after that...we had discussions on a part of the credit card biz...and i'm really glad to ahave such discussions...so nice to know more things...heez...now also got to understand more new terms which i do not understand last time...really appreciate him taking the time to sit down with me and another colleague(also another blessing from God as she's always keen to teach me when she can--a christian too :) )...and discuss work related matters...really thank God for all this...cos i've always been wanting to leave...cos not learning...n pay little(still as little now)...but at least now am learning lots...which helps a great deal when i look for job next time...as for my pay and position...i'm still working hard for it...
anyway...i used to think my 'new life' (in a bad sense) has started when i shifted up...but indeed my 'new life' has started...but...in a good way...n i'm glad abt it...hope nothing bad shatters my thoughts...heez...
k will stop here...
take gd care...God Bless...
byeeee
Hmm...time past very fast...and i've been at my new place for about 2weeks already...n i survived it and still doing well...heez...many of my colleagues in 18th floor kept asking how am i up there(25th floor)...the 1st thing i will answer them is " Wo An Jing Duo le"...which means i've become alot quieter already...the usual chatty and talkative and loud me has now become sort of quiet...why? cos i'm sitting near many big shots...so no choice...gotta tone down...but i find it better lah...haaz...and another thing is that i've slacked even lesser...always on the go with my work...chat less on msn...and surf less net...haaz...coz behind me sits someone...wldnt say who..but i muz be careful of my actions and what i do at work...anyway...i guess such arrangements for me at work is good lah...so that i can concentrate more on work..learn more...and excel...heezzz...
oh yah...about my title...yup...i'm slowly learning more and more things...today i've learnt new things too..and i'm really happy that i again have the chance to really sit down with people and talk and discuss about new things or even existing issues that needs to be raised and understood...although i admit i have short term memory(STM)...usually will forget what i've learnt...but i know if i keep trying to remember it...it will be beneficial to me...just now did OT...cos' doing month end closing reports...but after that i have some discussions with my supervisor...he wants me to do up charts for enhancement of the reports i've been doing so that the product managers will be able to understand the whole report in an easier manner...n guess what? i have to do up close to 100 charts lor...grrr...but nvm...learning process...he also taught me some tricks about doing up the charts...heez...after that...we had discussions on a part of the credit card biz...and i'm really glad to ahave such discussions...so nice to know more things...heez...now also got to understand more new terms which i do not understand last time...really appreciate him taking the time to sit down with me and another colleague(also another blessing from God as she's always keen to teach me when she can--a christian too :) )...and discuss work related matters...really thank God for all this...cos i've always been wanting to leave...cos not learning...n pay little(still as little now)...but at least now am learning lots...which helps a great deal when i look for job next time...as for my pay and position...i'm still working hard for it...
anyway...i used to think my 'new life' (in a bad sense) has started when i shifted up...but indeed my 'new life' has started...but...in a good way...n i'm glad abt it...hope nothing bad shatters my thoughts...heez...
k will stop here...
take gd care...God Bless...
byeeee
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