wonder if i had missed out anyting in 2008...maybe not...since there are so many activities going on the whole year...making the whole year seem so fast!
anyway...now already the 5th day of the year...things still feel the same...i'm as bz as ever at work...sigh...constantly worrying abt work...but...my love n drive to work hard is diminishing..sigh...why?long story...i remember i'm someone who loves to work much more than study...and if i'm on leave or staying at home doing nothing, i will feel uneasy...but now, that feeling is like gone! sigh...
guess it's time for me to change a new job...a new industry...a new environment...but how?this current economic situation is not the time...but...how?the answer is...PRAY and BELIEVE in GREATER THINGS from GOD! hee...
God has a great plan for me! Amen!
Anyway, in my 2nd last post on how my 2008 is like, at first i didnt noe how 2009 will be like, but now i think i noe a glimpse of it...it's from the Youth 09 vision...to raise leaders! I'm gona work all out to raise as many leaders as possible from Whampoa Net! I'm really happy to see the willingness of my net members...love them loads!
another is the Children Ministry...i'm gona put my heart for it!
there'll be more things to come...but i have no idea yet...haaa...but definitely i'm not only gona receive from the Lord, i'm also gona give whatever i have to the Lord!
anyway the past few days was quite fun...there's watchnite service on 31st dec 08...service, game and countdown etc...welcoming the new year with the Lord is great...however, a feeling of loneliness still struck me quite badly during the service...cos i reached late...so unable to find seats with the youths...so sat elsewhere...but cos after the break the mandarin congregation came in and took over the section where i sat (with yanzong)...so we have to find seats...the section where r7/8 youths were was too packed, so we couldnt find any seat...sat on the ground instead...feel like ppl didnt really care...or maybe cos it's me?wasnt always really remembered or cared at times by ppl...anyway am glad Lennie n Johnson sooo nice...offered to swap places with me and Hilary (she came to sit with us too cos more ppl shared the seats...so too squezzy, so she rather sit on the ground)...but we still made them go back to their seats...Thanks to the both boys...nice of them...then countdown came...in my heart, i felt happy that God has given me another new year to spent, and has definitely blessed me in yr08...however, physically, i canot feel much joy...didnt join in the fun the rest had, playing balloons and all...partly cos we were standing at the side and where the fun were was inside...all i did was smile (cos i can see their happy faces and the fun they had) and take some photos...though in my heart i feel sooo lonely n ignored...i'm definitely happy to see them happy! after watchnite was all nite youth activity...Movies n Makan...there are afew shows played concurrently...i was in the main sanctury...everyone had their own cliques etc...they walked around, talked around and have fun...but seem like i'm so detached from them (is it age? or me?), i sat alone at the whole row, staring at the screen which was playing Prince Caspian..tired afew times to walk around and find ppl to play n talk to...but seems like it doesnt work...even the sign ups or makan...nobody asked me along...so yah...decided to head home at 2plus am...thanks yanzong n johnson who wanted to walk me out but unable to cos JL needs to lock the place...so i headed out for a taxi myself...at first i wanted to walk for a distance first alone b4 taking a cab...but cos i'm carrying alot of things, and i'm tired...so i hopped on the cab soon after...following day...slept till 2.30pm...nothing to do..so slacked at home...till i really get bored...so asked ck out for dinner...thanks for the company...
anyway...sorry to be so emotional abt the above...but i juz wana let it out...i mean i shouldnt let this loneliness consume me...i really need to fight it hard...loneliness will still be there...but i must not let it affect my spiritual life...and most importanly...God is with me...so no matter how lonely...i'm actually NOT lonely at all...cos i have God! i canot let that unhappy feeling affect me or even affect others...really thank God for being with me always...cos if without Him and prayers when i'm facing those situations, i guess i might not be strong enough to handle it, and might leave all these and lead another life without God, and blame God and those ppl all my life...i really thank God i did not do that...He really taught me alot...Thank You Lord!
anyway gotta sleep...got class at nite...1st lesson...hope it's interesting...hee...
and thanks Zhi Wei for sending me a msg of prayers for my coming classes and my year ahead...really encouraging...
take care
God Bless n love all of u!
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