continued....

Back...need to add on...

yah...was saying that my mum always scold me...especially since i was young...there were many hurtful words too, like ' no wonder nobody wants you', 'you are so ugly', and many other things...such words pierced through my heart each time...and i was very young then...can you believe/imagine how i am able to take such blow to me even at a young age?...been living such a life for over 20 yrs...however, i really thank God that at least now is not as worse as the past...ever since i started working and earning money 5yrs ago...and giving her allowance...her attitude towards me changed abit for the better...less scoldings...less crude remarks...but at times when she siao siao will be quite bad again...basically i just have to bear with her nonsense and give in to her (my dad wants me to give in to her)...

i remember i used to argue back whenever they scold me...cos most of the time she will scold me for no good reason or even when i'm not in the wrong...that is why i always want to defend myself by arguing back...i never win...they will scold me even more...i used to have a very bad temper...but i really thank God for working in me...through these...he gave me patience...for more than 1 year...i have not argued back with them...i will always just keep quiet whenever they scold me...no matter what...just as to prevent more quarrels...i think it's a good idea...cos being quiet, they will have nothing more to say...haaa...but i'm really disappointed in my dad for one thing...he never helps me whenever my mum gets angry with me...he knows her pattern...and i always and no matter what, have to give in to my mum everytime...i will always be considered as WRONG even when i'm not...and my mum...will no matter what always makes things difficult for me...sigh...and my brothers...always purposely get me into trouble...sigh...

however, i can see how my mum show love to me too...i really wana thank her for it...she will buy breakfast for me everyday without fail...except for once or twice in like a week or 2...but she will always either buy or prepare me food...i really appreciate that...really...at times she will be nice to me lah...though it will be once in a blue moon...but i still appreciate those...

hmmm...i duno what to write again...will continue if i got stuff to write...

will stop here...take care...God Bless n love u...

sign off

Siyin - Ann