Thursday, November 03, 2005

~LeFt OuT?~

~ The Lord shall preserve your going out and coming in from this time forth, and even forever more. Psalms 121:8~

hi all~~ its mi...hmmm...ehz...duno how am i to start writing here...juz reached home not long ago though...tiredz...bz dae...
hmmm...2dae though my boss isnt around to nag...but i'm already bz to be relaxed...hee...no choice...gotta do out my weekly report...furthermore, there is my mthly report...oh no...bz-ness is juz in the air...haiz...think i'm juz too caught up in my work in these 2yrs of my working life dat i always cant find the time for my frens n family...n i guess cos seldom hang out with them...my r/s with them will not ever be like their r/s among themselves...though i have many groups of frens...i dun think i can find any that really have strong r/s with me...even for those i regard as best/gd frens...all are now bz with their own frens...feeling v lonely soon...even for church frens...trying hard to mix well with them...nowadays even try hard to find time dine out n gather with them...however, i still cant find the bond that they themselves have amongst them...nearly everytime when i was out with them...there will bound to be a time where i will have to walk alone myself...i do feel v sad...but din sae anything...sometimes will juz pretend to press my hp (sms)or juz look around...trying hard not to let them noe that i'm feeling left out...i ven try talking to them...but i feel my conversation with them are not the same as how they have their conversation...i don't know...mayb i'm juz too sensitive...i'm used to such feeling - being left out...but i really do hope it wun be with me for the rest of my life...thses frens are really gd frens...but mayb i joined their group too late...dats y cant find the bond with them...but i really enjoy hanging out with them (excluding the being left out time)...haiz...sad...they will always have meetings/gatherings...n i usually hear abt them when i'm out with them...so sad rite?sad dat i din go out with them...n when they're talkin abt it,i'll be lost...n juz keep quiet...even at times i even have to ask them whether they r meeting den i go meet them...does it mean dat actually i'm not being thought of at the start...but since i ask abt any gathering...den ask mi along?hmmm...i don't know...i really feel very sad...is my work causing all these?i know i'm juz a workaholic...i canot dont work...spent too much time at work...n i still have classes at nite...sian lor...luckily i still have colleages to be entertained with...anyway...not all are gd though...some may look 'good' on the outside...but u'll nv noe when they will backstab you...yah...
anyway...ben,my classmate now...we are always like enemies...practically fight everytime we see each other...but its always v fun...even some of my other classmates...really nice ppl...but however...they still have their own group of frens...classmates r onli for a short while...so still...i canot find a new group of close frens...hmm...hee
however, there's 1 thing i wana sae...there is onli 1 thing in my life which is always shining n brightening up my life without fail...whenever i really feel lonely...He will be the answer...Great!isn't He?hee...
guess i'll stop here first...3am already...fell asleep while typing...hahaha...Nitez!

take care n God Bless~
:)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

There will always be a problem of juggling between work, friends and family. We only have 24hrs in a day and we spend most of the time sleeping and working. It seems unfair, but that is the reality of life. You should have gathered enough close friends while in secondary school and those will be the friends that will stick to you no matter what happens. If you feel left out of the group then you should move on and spend more quality time with friends that means more to you. Trying to fit into a group should not be happening. That is childish. You must have friends that you tresure more than anything else, and I would expect them to make you feel wanted.

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