Snappy Answers

Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets. As a man
approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket, and he opened his trench coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."

Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys
at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big
enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock
boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
I've been waiting for you all day", the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here
as fast as I could". When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the
freeway. A sign comes up that reads low bridge
ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the
bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,
a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his
car and walks around to the truck driver, puts
his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5
Snappy Answer of the Year!
A college teacher reminds her class of
tomorrow's final ex am. "Now class, I won't
tolerate any
excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the
back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to
stifle their laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles
sympathetically at the student, shakes her
head, and sweetly says, " Well, I guess you'd
have to write the exam with your other hand."

BONUS Snappy Answer
A girl was visiting her blond friend who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" answered
the blond."They're watch dogs!"



Can't get enough? The BEST is LAST!
A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN
on a flight to Dallas. After the plane was
airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN
asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought
and placed before him. The flight attendant
then asked the minister if he would like a
drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be
savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor
touch my lips." The TEXAN looked at the
minister, then handed his drink back to the
attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a
choice."