Tablecloth

> > The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned
> > to their first ministry, to reopen a church
> > in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October
> > excited about their opportunities. When they saw
> > their church, it was very run down and needed
> > much work. They set a goal to have everything
> > done in time to have their first service
> > on Christmas Eve.
> >
> > They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc.,
> > and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
> >
> > On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving
> > rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.
> >
> > On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church.
> > His heart sank when he saw that the roof had
> > leaked, causing a large area of plaster about
> > 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the f ront wall of the sanctuary just
> > behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.
> >
> > The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor,
> > and not knowing what else to do but postpone
> > the Christmas Eve service, headed home.
> > On the way he noticed that a local business was
> > having a flea market type sale for charity so he
> > stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful,
> > handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth
> > with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross
> > embroidered right in the center. It was just
> > the right size to cover up the hole in the front
> > wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.
> >
> > By this time it had started to snow. An older
> > woman running from the opposite direction was
> > trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor
> > invited her to wait in the warm church for
> > the next bus 45 minutes later.
> >
> > She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor
> > while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put
> > up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor
> > could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and
> > it covered up the entire problem area.
> >
> > Then he noticed the woman walking down the center
> > aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. "Pastor,"
> > she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?"
> > The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check
> > the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG
> > were crocheted into
> > it there. They were. These were the initials of the
> > woman, and she had
> > made this tablecloth
> > 35 years before, in Austria.
> >
> > The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor
> > told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The
> > woman explained that before the war she and
> > her husband were well-to-do people in Austria.
> > When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave.
> > Her husband was going to follow her the next week.
> > He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her
> > husband or her home again.
> >
> > The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth;
> > but she made the pastor keep it for the church.
> > The pastor insisted on driving her home, that
> > was the least he could do.. She lived on the other
> > side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn
> > for the day for a housecleaning job.
> >
> > What a wonderful service they had on Christmas
> > Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the
> > spirit were great. At the end of the service, the
> > pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door
> > and many said that they would return.
> > One older man, whom the pastor recognized
> > from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the
> > pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he
> > wasn't leaving.
> >
> > The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on
> > the front wall because it was identical to one
> > that his wife had made years ago when
> > they lived in Austria before the war and how
> > could there be two tablecloths so much alike.
> >
> > He told the pastor how the Naz is came, how he
> > forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was
> > supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and
> > put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home
> > again all the 35 years in between.
> >
> > The pastor asked him if he would allow him to
> > take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten
> > Island and to the same house where the pastor
> > had taken the woman three days earlier.
> >
> > He helped the man climb the three flights of
> > stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on
> > the door and he saw the greatest Christmas
> > reunion he could ever imagine.
> >
> > True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid
> > Who says God does not work in mysterious ways..
> > I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed! for
> > you today, to guide you and protect you as you go
> > along your way. His love is always with you, His
> > promises are true, and when we give Him all our
> > cares you know He will see us through.
> >
> > So when the road you're traveling on seems
> > difficult at best.. Just remember I'm here
> > praying and God will do the rest. Pass this on
> > to those you want God to bless and don't forget
> > to send it back to the one who asked God to bless
> > you first.
> >
> > When there is nothing left but God, that is when
> > you find out that God is all you need. Take 60
> > seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply
> > say the following small prayer for the person
> > who sent you this.
> >
> > Father, God, bless all my friends and family in what
> > ever it is that You know they may be needing this
> > day! May their life be full of your peace,
> > prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a
> > closer relationship with you. Amen.

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? (Backstreet Boys)

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? (Backstreet Boys)

Remeber when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want so much
The night islong and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

Chorus:
What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

Chorus:
What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

Chorus:
What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make it right
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall in love with you?

Happiness

The angel asked, "You aren't happy. How can I help you?"
>
> The poet replied, "I have everything. Bu t I lack only one thing. Can
> you give it to me?"
>
> To which the angel happily said, "Sure. I can give you anything you
> desired."
>
> The poet stared right into the angel's eyes, "I want happiness."
>
> "All right," the angel nodded. And the angel proceed to take away
> everything the poet possessed.
>
> The angel took away the poet's talent, destroyed his looks, robbed his

> riches and killed his wife. The angel then left for heaven.
>
> A month later, the angel appeared in front of the poet. The poet was
> lying on the ground, half dead, hungry and struggling for survival.
>
> The angel then returned him everything he once possessed and left for
> heaven again.
>
> Two weeks later, the angel paid a visit to the poet. This time, the
> poet, together with his wife, thanked the angel profusely. He finally
> found happiness.
>
> ~~Often, a person need to lose everything before he know how to
cherish.
> Actually, happiness is right in front of you.
>
> Just what is happiness?
> When you are hungry, a bowl of hot noodle in front of you is
happiness.
> When you are tired, a soft bed is happiness.
> When you are crying, a gentle tissue is happiness.
>
> Actually, happiness has no definition. Sometimes, small actions can
> touch your heart. Happiness or not, depends on how you look at it.

~sobz~

~Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds thru' Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:6~

*sobz* *sobz* sad sia...2dae early in the morning i cried very badly...ppl ask more i cry more...cos i'm really v sad...y?cos my supervisor leaving...haiz...2nd time in my stay in uob...haiz...really sad...den my other collegues joked that cos i always beat them...till they scared den leave...yah yah...where got such things?hahaha...but the reason was dat this supervisor of mine was head hunted...really a talented chap...smartest person i've known...he knows many things and he handles many situations well...after my 1st supervisor left...he was thrown with lotsa things to do with alot of responsibilites...n the results are all are well done...no wonder he got head hunted...haiz...gd for him though...but for mi?haiz...
he's really a gd supervisor i shld sae...when he took over the role...he's been teaching mi lotsa things abt work...making sure i noe everything i do not noe...not onli for work...he taught me my school work...he really noes his stuff...those module dat i asked abt...he will noe how to do...smart leh...hmmm...well...dat's him...sum1 with degrees and masters...and other certs...and experience...his future will be very bright man...*envy*...
hmmm...he's leaving at the end of dis mth...dat's fast...hmmm...he's been hinting abt leaving the past week...but i chose not to believe...but this morning sum1 asked mi abt it...den i noe it's confirmed...den i threw tantrum at him saying i'm not gona tok to him...den he noes that i've already know he tendered his resignation...so he held a small meeting, me, him and another collegue(the mgmt reporting team),to discuss abt his departure...wah...when i went into the meeting room, my tears kept on rolling down...non-stop...i refuse to talk...den he explained why he has to leave...den i told him i also got another offer(which he already knew)...n i wana leave too...but he advise me to stay on for the better...better not make rash decisions...hmmm...den after dat he told our boss smthg abt mi...den i was asked to 'chat' with the boss...during the 'chat'...we negotiated on the terms for promotion and pay rise...yah...i duno how it will be...but he promised to fight for me what i want...hope so i guess...been told that he all along wana promote me next yr...hmm...we even discussed of my future position after my graduation 1.5yrs later...which i may not noe whether i will still stay on anot...yah...guess mayb i hav to stay on(unsure abt wat will happen 1.5yrs later)...not onli cos of the better pay and position...but also cos this team not enuf ppl...canot let it fall juz like dat...hmmm...yah...
anyway...i really feel dat all these...be it the coming promotion or pay rise...it is all God's blessing to me...i can really feel it...Thank You Lord...i really feel soo blessed... :) ...hmmm...but still...i'm really v sad my supervisor is gona leave...but all i can say to him is All the Best~ he's sure gona make it big in near future...can really forsee it...he got the talents...mayb ask him head hunt me over nex time...wahahahhaa...hmmm...yah...it's gona be 10pm now...still in office...took quite long to finish dis cos was having a meeting juz now...yup...k...gotta stop here...take care all of ya...

God Bless n Love ya all~~~

A message from a nurse... be considerate in hospital when it says ' No Cell Phones Allowed'

Hope this is not too late to those who need to visit the hospital. Just something to keep in mind...........This mail was actually forwarded by a nurse in the Critical Care Unit of a local private hospital. Just turn off our phone next time when you are in the hospital. The person being affected may just be someone you love. When you enter a hospital, do look out for signs that say, "NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED". You might not realise what unfortunate things can happen due to your negligence. Be considerate!
A 4 year-old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to stitch the protruding bone back in place. The girl was hooked onto a life support system during the operation. The doctors input data into the life support system before he began the surgery. The operation went well until all in a sudden the life support system went dead. It was found out that an idiot was using his/her hand phone outside the operation Theatre. The frequency had actually affected the system. They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after due to the failure of the life support system.
Message: Be considerate. Do not use your hand phone at any hospital or places where you're told not to use it. You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing it! Please pass this on to as many people as possible!

An excellent Story

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

.............................Love, Dad


Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For
Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"


At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.......................... It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.

Fotos...

My Hairz~



Me~~



Region D!

Banquet 2005 fotos (12Aug05)

Lesson in Life

Lesson In Life
>
> A group of working adults got together to visit their University
> lecturer. The lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned
> into complaints about stress in work and life.
>
> The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment
> of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain
> looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
>
> The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for
> themselves.
>
> When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer
> spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were
> taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal
> that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of
> your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup,
> but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
>
> "Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and
> position in society are the cups. They are just tools to
> hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
>
> "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste
> the water in it."
>
> "Faith gives us a new vision of the world. Without it we see only the
> darker side of life. We are still slaves. It is faith which liberates
> us and makes us see the Spirit of power and love at work in our
> lives."

~what should i do?pls tell mi~

~Share each others' troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2~

Arrrgghhhhh!!!!!how???can anybody tell me???i need advise!!!haiz...in a big dilemma...haiz...a fren of mine juz intro me to go his workplace to work...pay surely will be more...job scope altho' called as admin...but wat he claims is dat its not those general/traditional admin work...cos is on reporting n analysing...now i really duno wat to do...cos now all i wan is a job dat will bring a better future...and the experience...i'm kinda keen on it...but many many things are holding me back...1st is dat the job i'm at now, with the kinda things i'm doing, might do me good in the future...but the pay is super little...not onli dat...working in dis company is onli a stepping stone...its not a place where i can climb high...but...i really duno lah...haiz...2ndly are the ppl i cant bear to leave...been a yr plus since i'm in this company...along the way...i've got to noe many ppl...and many of them are very nice..bonded very well with them...if suddenly i were to leave...i really wld not noe wat to do...altho leaving is wat i wld do eventually...but i nv did noe it will hav to be soo soon...i really cant bear to leave lor...3rdly is my supervisor n boss...they are really nice to work with...really very nice...i've really been blessed with such bosses...my supervisor is always v lenient with me...never scolds mi...and always jokes about and giv entertainment...i also do giv entertainment at times...he also teaches me many things...abt my job...though sometimes i'm really upset with him...cos i feel i'm not really recognised for my work done...haiz...all i can sae is he's really nice...as for my boss...he's also very nice too...seldom see him angry...but today he scold me...sobz...but ok liao...cos i'm not in the wrong...hee...hmmm...so how now?wat shld i do?job hop or stay on?hmmm...mayb i shld go the interview n den decide...hmmm...dis is such a headache!!!i'm already v stressed n sad w other things already...den still got this thing!!!haiz....haiz....haiz....what should i do???

Beware!~

Througha Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)



This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this informationis too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go aftera woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER Spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERYHARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.

Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE

the thimble

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while
sitting
close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.
When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen
into the water and that she needed it to help her
husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled
up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a
silver thimble ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a
leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty
and
gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the
seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with
her husband along the riverbank, and her husband
fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and
asked her, "Why are you crying?"
Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" She
answered.

The Lord went down into the water and came up
with
Mel Gibson.
Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.
It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel
Gibson, you would have come up with Tom
Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have
come up with my husband.

Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all
three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would
not be able to take care of all three husbands, so
THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies,
it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the
best interest of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it!

stupid jokes

> > > > Ah Lian called big brother Ah Beng over the
> telephone.
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "Ah Beng kor, I can't get my new
> jig saw puzzle fixed,
> > >
> > >
> > > > mah-chiam all the edges cannot
> fix together, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Jig saw puzzle si mi picture,
> ha?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "The box show a big rooster,
> kanna like the one in
> > >
> > >
> > > > talkingcock.com."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over
> to tor-long lu, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she
> happily leads him to the
> > >
> > >
> > > > kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, "Si ghee
> na, si bay gong, put back
> > >
> > >
> > > > the corn flakes into the box, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim,
> one of his elderly
> > >
> > >
> > > > patients.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr.
> Lim?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But
> you know, it's the
> > >
> > >
> > > > strangest
> > >
> > >
> > > > thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio,
> the bathroom light goes
> > >
> > >
> > > > on
> > >
> > >
> > > > for me automatically when I open the door!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor is worried that the old man is
> getting senile, so he phones
> > >
> > >
> > > > the
> > >
> > >
> > > > man's son, and the son's wife answers.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little
> concerned about your
> > >
> > >
> > > > father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up
> to urinate at night and
> > >
> > >
> > > > opens
> > >
> > >
> > > > the bathroom door, the light somehow goes
> on..."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah
> Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the
> > >
> > >
> > > > fridge again!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Because when it's cold, they go
> "kwah, kwah, kwah".
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Hei hei hei (hokkien for prawns)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Heu heu heu (hokkien for fish)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > And here is a classic..............
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: What's the difference between
> Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy
> > >
> > >
> > > > Tales?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with
> "Once upon a time..." and
> > >
> > >
> > > > Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li
> kong..."

Patient in Woodbridge

A patient in Woodbridge is singing on his bed.

At first, he sings lying down with his back on the bed.........
~ and sings and sings and sings ........ then later, he changes
his position with his face down.

The nurse asks him why he turns and sings with his face down.

He says:" R u stupid or what? Side A finished already, now playing Side B mah "

~how fast time flies~

~The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding. The spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:2~

hi all...so paiseh...haven been bloggin for v long...iether i'm bz or lazy...dats y onli post jokes and stuff...hmmm...since now i've got some time...i shall write abit...but...i duno wat to write!hee...anyway...i would like to say that time past really v fast...really...one yr passed juz like dat...i remember one yr and afew weeks ago i joined UOB...but as a temp staff...onli became perm in Oct last yr...wow...i din noe i can stay in my workplace for so long...i mean...mayb 1yr to many is juz v short...but cos is my 1st time workin perm...i duno how it will work out...but reallt thank God dat all came smooth...my bosses and collegues are v nice people...easy to get along with...i'm really glad God is always with me all these while...though there are bad times in the office...but i managed to pull thru those hard time...Praise God!hee...oh yah...i would also like to say that i'm already in VFC for 1yr and abt 2mths already!time really passes fast!i really enjoyed myself in VFC...altho there are also some conflicts among frens @times...but everything goes back to normal after awhile...i'm really very happy to be brought to VFC...thanks Jinlun didi~...this made me get to know many ppl(nice) from church...be it from The Edge or Sunday service...during this 1yr plus...i also came to love many worship songs...will listen to them everyday without fail...hee...yup...i can really say that my life changed when i really stepped into the kingdom of God 1yr plus ago...though i've been believing in God ever since primary school...but i must sae that i really like my life now...ever since my parents let me make my own decision abt gg church...yup...my life now though is always bz n bz...always not enuf sleep...but i noe God is with me...giving me the strength to move on...he even blessed me alot that i dun fall sick easily...even if i'm sick...i will be healed fast...yup...glad dat i'm always showered with God's blessing...Amen!
hmmm...yah...think gotta stop here...gona take a short rest b4 start workin again...take care...

God Bless n Love u all!~~
:)

jOkes

***i'm not being racist hor...juz posting it for fun***

> > >One day, Mr Singh gets a new born child. So he
> > >starts filling the birth certificate. At the
> > >same time, a couple who are touring India,
> > >met him and congratulated him on getting a
> > >son. Mr Singh is very happy. The next day,
> > >the couple go to Delhi. There they find the very
> > >same Singh writing the very same form. The
> > >puzzled couple approached Mr Singh and
> > >asked him " Mr Singh, yesterday, we saw you at >
> >
> > >Mumbai
> > >filling the same certificate, but today you are
> > >here?" Mr Singh replies "I came here because on
> > >the certificate it said: "WRITE IN CAPITAL."
>
=====================================================
>
> > >At the examination hall, Mr Singh was reading
> > >the instructions on the question paper
> > >before crying out in despair. He thought for
> > >a while and started stripping his shirt, pants, &
>
> > >hellip; On seeing that, the invigilator rushed
> > >forward and asked "Singh why are you
> > >stripping yourself?" To which Mr Singh replied
> > >"But the instruction say: ANSWER IN BRIEF."
>
======================================================
>
> > The doctor told Mr Singh that if he ran
> > eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he
> > would loose 34 kilos.
> > At the end of 300 days, Mr Singh
> > called the doctor to report he had lost
> > weight, but he had a problem.
> > "What's the problem?"
> > asked the
> > doctor. "I'm 2400 km from home."
>
======================================================
> > 2 Singhs got fed up with the Indian
> > Govt and decided to blow up the
> > parliament. They take 2
> > bombs, put them in a suitcase in the
> > front seat of their car and set
> > off. One asks the
> > other "What happens if the bombs
> > blast off now" The other says
> > "Don't worry. I
> > have a spare bomb in the
> > back seat"
> ====================================================
>
> > Mr Singh was filling up an application
> > form for a job. He promptly filled the
> > columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came
> to
> > the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what
> >
> > to write there. After much thought he
> > wrote: YES.

ocean ou

i can't believe is him sia...voice doesn't match looks...hee

joke

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
> > the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
> > the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I
> > warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the
> > owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost
> > us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
> > warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw
> > the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken
> > antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man
> > reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
> > window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
> > replied.
> >
> >
> > "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
> > I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
> > years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
> > wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll
> > keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband
> > said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million
> > dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the
> > genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll
> > guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
> >
> > "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd
> > like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
> > in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And
> > your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
> > disasters!"
> >
> >
> > "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
> > "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
> > a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your
> > wife."
> >
> >
> > The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
> > both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
> > She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
> > right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
> > what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the
> > husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
> >
> >
> > So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
> > of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
> >
> >
> > After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and
> > looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
> > husband?"
> >
> >
> > "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
> >
> >
> > "Really? Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
> > genies?"

test

點解既呢 ??

神奇呀! (千萬不要先看答案)

請跟著以下的指示，盡快地回答以下的問題，


但要先完成一個問題才回答下一個。


你不需要寫下答案，只要心算便可。


15+6是多少


3+56





89+2



12+53



75+26



25+52





63+32



123+5



快！！！心想一種工具和一種顏色！



你剛剛想的是否紅色的鎚子？


如果答案不是的話，你就是2%的與眾不同的人∕不正常人，


通常98%的人做這個測驗會回答紅色的鎚子，

如果你不信的話，不妨給你的朋友試試。

Cathouse Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful

>parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

>

>"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

>

>The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that

>this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, and sometimes it

>says some pretty vulgar stuff."

>

>The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird

>anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room



>and waited for it to say something.

>

>The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, New



>madam."

>

>The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought

>"that's really not so bad."

>

>When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and

>said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were

>a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering

>how and where the parrot had been raised.

>

>Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

>

>The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith."