My Hairz~
Me~~
Region D!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Lesson in Life
Lesson In Life
>
> A group of working adults got together to visit their University
> lecturer. The lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned
> into complaints about stress in work and life.
>
> The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment
> of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain
> looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
>
> The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for
> themselves.
>
> When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer
> spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were
> taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal
> that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of
> your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup,
> but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
>
> "Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and
> position in society are the cups. They are just tools to
> hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
>
> "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste
> the water in it."
>
> "Faith gives us a new vision of the world. Without it we see only the
> darker side of life. We are still slaves. It is faith which liberates
> us and makes us see the Spirit of power and love at work in our
> lives."
>
> A group of working adults got together to visit their University
> lecturer. The lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned
> into complaints about stress in work and life.
>
> The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment
> of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain
> looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
>
> The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for
> themselves.
>
> When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer
> spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were
> taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal
> that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of
> your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup,
> but we unconsciously went for the better cups."
>
> "Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and
> position in society are the cups. They are just tools to
> hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
>
> "If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste
> the water in it."
>
> "Faith gives us a new vision of the world. Without it we see only the
> darker side of life. We are still slaves. It is faith which liberates
> us and makes us see the Spirit of power and love at work in our
> lives."
Saturday, August 27, 2005
~what should i do?pls tell mi~
~Share each others' troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2~
Arrrgghhhhh!!!!!how???can anybody tell me???i need advise!!!haiz...in a big dilemma...haiz...a fren of mine juz intro me to go his workplace to work...pay surely will be more...job scope altho' called as admin...but wat he claims is dat its not those general/traditional admin work...cos is on reporting n analysing...now i really duno wat to do...cos now all i wan is a job dat will bring a better future...and the experience...i'm kinda keen on it...but many many things are holding me back...1st is dat the job i'm at now, with the kinda things i'm doing, might do me good in the future...but the pay is super little...not onli dat...working in dis company is onli a stepping stone...its not a place where i can climb high...but...i really duno lah...haiz...2ndly are the ppl i cant bear to leave...been a yr plus since i'm in this company...along the way...i've got to noe many ppl...and many of them are very nice..bonded very well with them...if suddenly i were to leave...i really wld not noe wat to do...altho leaving is wat i wld do eventually...but i nv did noe it will hav to be soo soon...i really cant bear to leave lor...3rdly is my supervisor n boss...they are really nice to work with...really very nice...i've really been blessed with such bosses...my supervisor is always v lenient with me...never scolds mi...and always jokes about and giv entertainment...i also do giv entertainment at times...he also teaches me many things...abt my job...though sometimes i'm really upset with him...cos i feel i'm not really recognised for my work done...haiz...all i can sae is he's really nice...as for my boss...he's also very nice too...seldom see him angry...but today he scold me...sobz...but ok liao...cos i'm not in the wrong...hee...hmmm...so how now?wat shld i do?job hop or stay on?hmmm...mayb i shld go the interview n den decide...hmmm...dis is such a headache!!!i'm already v stressed n sad w other things already...den still got this thing!!!haiz....haiz....haiz....what should i do???
Arrrgghhhhh!!!!!how???can anybody tell me???i need advise!!!haiz...in a big dilemma...haiz...a fren of mine juz intro me to go his workplace to work...pay surely will be more...job scope altho' called as admin...but wat he claims is dat its not those general/traditional admin work...cos is on reporting n analysing...now i really duno wat to do...cos now all i wan is a job dat will bring a better future...and the experience...i'm kinda keen on it...but many many things are holding me back...1st is dat the job i'm at now, with the kinda things i'm doing, might do me good in the future...but the pay is super little...not onli dat...working in dis company is onli a stepping stone...its not a place where i can climb high...but...i really duno lah...haiz...2ndly are the ppl i cant bear to leave...been a yr plus since i'm in this company...along the way...i've got to noe many ppl...and many of them are very nice..bonded very well with them...if suddenly i were to leave...i really wld not noe wat to do...altho leaving is wat i wld do eventually...but i nv did noe it will hav to be soo soon...i really cant bear to leave lor...3rdly is my supervisor n boss...they are really nice to work with...really very nice...i've really been blessed with such bosses...my supervisor is always v lenient with me...never scolds mi...and always jokes about and giv entertainment...i also do giv entertainment at times...he also teaches me many things...abt my job...though sometimes i'm really upset with him...cos i feel i'm not really recognised for my work done...haiz...all i can sae is he's really nice...as for my boss...he's also very nice too...seldom see him angry...but today he scold me...sobz...but ok liao...cos i'm not in the wrong...hee...hmmm...so how now?wat shld i do?job hop or stay on?hmmm...mayb i shld go the interview n den decide...hmmm...dis is such a headache!!!i'm already v stressed n sad w other things already...den still got this thing!!!haiz....haiz....haiz....what should i do???
Friday, August 26, 2005
Beware!~
Througha Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)
This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.
When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this informationis too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go aftera woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.
5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.
6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming
9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER Spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.
13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERYHARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.
Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.
14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble
PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE
This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.
When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this informationis too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go aftera woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.
5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.
6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming
9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER Spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.
13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERYHARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.
Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.
14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful . You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!
You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble
PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE
Thursday, August 25, 2005
the thimble
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while
sitting
close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.
When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen
into the water and that she needed it to help her
husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled
up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a
silver thimble ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a
leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty
and
gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the
seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with
her husband along the riverbank, and her husband
fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and
asked her, "Why are you crying?"
Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" She
answered.
The Lord went down into the water and came up
with
Mel Gibson.
Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.
It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel
Gibson, you would have come up with Tom
Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have
come up with my husband.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all
three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would
not be able to take care of all three husbands, so
THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies,
it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the
best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it!
sitting
close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.
When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen
into the water and that she needed it to help her
husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled
up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a
silver thimble ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a
leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty
and
gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the
seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with
her husband along the riverbank, and her husband
fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and
asked her, "Why are you crying?"
Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" She
answered.
The Lord went down into the water and came up
with
Mel Gibson.
Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.
It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel
Gibson, you would have come up with Tom
Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have
come up with my husband.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all
three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would
not be able to take care of all three husbands, so
THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies,
it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the
best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it!
stupid jokes
> > > > Ah Lian called big brother Ah Beng over the
> telephone.
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "Ah Beng kor, I can't get my new
> jig saw puzzle fixed,
> > >
> > >
> > > > mah-chiam all the edges cannot
> fix together, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Jig saw puzzle si mi picture,
> ha?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "The box show a big rooster,
> kanna like the one in
> > >
> > >
> > > > talkingcock.com."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over
> to tor-long lu, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she
> happily leads him to the
> > >
> > >
> > > > kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, "Si ghee
> na, si bay gong, put back
> > >
> > >
> > > > the corn flakes into the box, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim,
> one of his elderly
> > >
> > >
> > > > patients.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr.
> Lim?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But
> you know, it's the
> > >
> > >
> > > > strangest
> > >
> > >
> > > > thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio,
> the bathroom light goes
> > >
> > >
> > > > on
> > >
> > >
> > > > for me automatically when I open the door!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor is worried that the old man is
> getting senile, so he phones
> > >
> > >
> > > > the
> > >
> > >
> > > > man's son, and the son's wife answers.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little
> concerned about your
> > >
> > >
> > > > father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up
> to urinate at night and
> > >
> > >
> > > > opens
> > >
> > >
> > > > the bathroom door, the light somehow goes
> on..."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah
> Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the
> > >
> > >
> > > > fridge again!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Because when it's cold, they go
> "kwah, kwah, kwah".
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Hei hei hei (hokkien for prawns)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Heu heu heu (hokkien for fish)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > And here is a classic..............
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: What's the difference between
> Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy
> > >
> > >
> > > > Tales?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with
> "Once upon a time..." and
> > >
> > >
> > > > Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li
> kong..."
> telephone.
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "Ah Beng kor, I can't get my new
> jig saw puzzle fixed,
> > >
> > >
> > > > mah-chiam all the edges cannot
> fix together, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Jig saw puzzle si mi picture,
> ha?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Lian: "The box show a big rooster,
> kanna like the one in
> > >
> > >
> > > > talkingcock.com."
> > >
> > >
> > > > Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over
> to tor-long lu, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she
> happily leads him to the
> > >
> > >
> > > > kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, "Si ghee
> na, si bay gong, put back
> > >
> > >
> > > > the corn flakes into the box, lah."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim,
> one of his elderly
> > >
> > >
> > > > patients.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr.
> Lim?"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But
> you know, it's the
> > >
> > >
> > > > strangest
> > >
> > >
> > > > thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio,
> the bathroom light goes
> > >
> > >
> > > > on
> > >
> > >
> > > > for me automatically when I open the door!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor is worried that the old man is
> getting senile, so he phones
> > >
> > >
> > > > the
> > >
> > >
> > > > man's son, and the son's wife answers.
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little
> concerned about your
> > >
> > >
> > > > father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up
> to urinate at night and
> > >
> > >
> > > > opens
> > >
> > >
> > > > the bathroom door, the light somehow goes
> on..."
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah
> Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the
> > >
> > >
> > > > fridge again!"
> > >
> > >
> > > >
>
******************************************************
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Because when it's cold, they go
> "kwah, kwah, kwah".
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien prawns laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Hei hei hei (hokkien for prawns)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: How do Hokkien fish laugh?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Heu heu heu (hokkien for fish)
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > And here is a classic..............
> > >
> > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > QUESTION: What's the difference between
> Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy
> > >
> > >
> > > > Tales?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with
> "Once upon a time..." and
> > >
> > >
> > > > Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li
> kong..."
Monday, August 22, 2005
Patient in Woodbridge
A patient in Woodbridge is singing on his bed.
At first, he sings lying down with his back on the bed.........
~ and sings and sings and sings ........ then later, he changes
his position with his face down.
The nurse asks him why he turns and sings with his face down.
He says:" R u stupid or what? Side A finished already, now playing Side B mah "
At first, he sings lying down with his back on the bed.........
~ and sings and sings and sings ........ then later, he changes
his position with his face down.
The nurse asks him why he turns and sings with his face down.
He says:" R u stupid or what? Side A finished already, now playing Side B mah "
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
~how fast time flies~
~The spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding. The spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:2~
hi all...so paiseh...haven been bloggin for v long...iether i'm bz or lazy...dats y onli post jokes and stuff...hmmm...since now i've got some time...i shall write abit...but...i duno wat to write!hee...anyway...i would like to say that time past really v fast...really...one yr passed juz like dat...i remember one yr and afew weeks ago i joined UOB...but as a temp staff...onli became perm in Oct last yr...wow...i din noe i can stay in my workplace for so long...i mean...mayb 1yr to many is juz v short...but cos is my 1st time workin perm...i duno how it will work out...but reallt thank God dat all came smooth...my bosses and collegues are v nice people...easy to get along with...i'm really glad God is always with me all these while...though there are bad times in the office...but i managed to pull thru those hard time...Praise God!hee...oh yah...i would also like to say that i'm already in VFC for 1yr and abt 2mths already!time really passes fast!i really enjoyed myself in VFC...altho there are also some conflicts among frens @times...but everything goes back to normal after awhile...i'm really very happy to be brought to VFC...thanks Jinlun didi~...this made me get to know many ppl(nice) from church...be it from The Edge or Sunday service...during this 1yr plus...i also came to love many worship songs...will listen to them everyday without fail...hee...yup...i can really say that my life changed when i really stepped into the kingdom of God 1yr plus ago...though i've been believing in God ever since primary school...but i must sae that i really like my life now...ever since my parents let me make my own decision abt gg church...yup...my life now though is always bz n bz...always not enuf sleep...but i noe God is with me...giving me the strength to move on...he even blessed me alot that i dun fall sick easily...even if i'm sick...i will be healed fast...yup...glad dat i'm always showered with God's blessing...Amen!
hmmm...yah...think gotta stop here...gona take a short rest b4 start workin again...take care...
God Bless n Love u all!~~
:)
hi all...so paiseh...haven been bloggin for v long...iether i'm bz or lazy...dats y onli post jokes and stuff...hmmm...since now i've got some time...i shall write abit...but...i duno wat to write!hee...anyway...i would like to say that time past really v fast...really...one yr passed juz like dat...i remember one yr and afew weeks ago i joined UOB...but as a temp staff...onli became perm in Oct last yr...wow...i din noe i can stay in my workplace for so long...i mean...mayb 1yr to many is juz v short...but cos is my 1st time workin perm...i duno how it will work out...but reallt thank God dat all came smooth...my bosses and collegues are v nice people...easy to get along with...i'm really glad God is always with me all these while...though there are bad times in the office...but i managed to pull thru those hard time...Praise God!hee...oh yah...i would also like to say that i'm already in VFC for 1yr and abt 2mths already!time really passes fast!i really enjoyed myself in VFC...altho there are also some conflicts among frens @times...but everything goes back to normal after awhile...i'm really very happy to be brought to VFC...thanks Jinlun didi~...this made me get to know many ppl(nice) from church...be it from The Edge or Sunday service...during this 1yr plus...i also came to love many worship songs...will listen to them everyday without fail...hee...yup...i can really say that my life changed when i really stepped into the kingdom of God 1yr plus ago...though i've been believing in God ever since primary school...but i must sae that i really like my life now...ever since my parents let me make my own decision abt gg church...yup...my life now though is always bz n bz...always not enuf sleep...but i noe God is with me...giving me the strength to move on...he even blessed me alot that i dun fall sick easily...even if i'm sick...i will be healed fast...yup...glad dat i'm always showered with God's blessing...Amen!
hmmm...yah...think gotta stop here...gona take a short rest b4 start workin again...take care...
God Bless n Love u all!~~
:)
Thursday, August 11, 2005
jOkes
***i'm not being racist hor...juz posting it for fun***
> > >One day, Mr Singh gets a new born child. So he
> > >starts filling the birth certificate. At the
> > >same time, a couple who are touring India,
> > >met him and congratulated him on getting a
> > >son. Mr Singh is very happy. The next day,
> > >the couple go to Delhi. There they find the very
> > >same Singh writing the very same form. The
> > >puzzled couple approached Mr Singh and
> > >asked him " Mr Singh, yesterday, we saw you at >
> >
> > >Mumbai
> > >filling the same certificate, but today you are
> > >here?" Mr Singh replies "I came here because on
> > >the certificate it said: "WRITE IN CAPITAL."
>
=====================================================
>
> > >At the examination hall, Mr Singh was reading
> > >the instructions on the question paper
> > >before crying out in despair. He thought for
> > >a while and started stripping his shirt, pants, &
>
> > >hellip; On seeing that, the invigilator rushed
> > >forward and asked "Singh why are you
> > >stripping yourself?" To which Mr Singh replied
> > >"But the instruction say: ANSWER IN BRIEF."
>
======================================================
>
> > The doctor told Mr Singh that if he ran
> > eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he
> > would loose 34 kilos.
> > At the end of 300 days, Mr Singh
> > called the doctor to report he had lost
> > weight, but he had a problem.
> > "What's the problem?"
> > asked the
> > doctor. "I'm 2400 km from home."
>
======================================================
> > 2 Singhs got fed up with the Indian
> > Govt and decided to blow up the
> > parliament. They take 2
> > bombs, put them in a suitcase in the
> > front seat of their car and set
> > off. One asks the
> > other "What happens if the bombs
> > blast off now" The other says
> > "Don't worry. I
> > have a spare bomb in the
> > back seat"
> ====================================================
>
> > Mr Singh was filling up an application
> > form for a job. He promptly filled the
> > columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came
> to
> > the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what
> >
> > to write there. After much thought he
> > wrote: YES.
> > >One day, Mr Singh gets a new born child. So he
> > >starts filling the birth certificate. At the
> > >same time, a couple who are touring India,
> > >met him and congratulated him on getting a
> > >son. Mr Singh is very happy. The next day,
> > >the couple go to Delhi. There they find the very
> > >same Singh writing the very same form. The
> > >puzzled couple approached Mr Singh and
> > >asked him " Mr Singh, yesterday, we saw you at >
> >
> > >Mumbai
> > >filling the same certificate, but today you are
> > >here?" Mr Singh replies "I came here because on
> > >the certificate it said: "WRITE IN CAPITAL."
>
=====================================================
>
> > >At the examination hall, Mr Singh was reading
> > >the instructions on the question paper
> > >before crying out in despair. He thought for
> > >a while and started stripping his shirt, pants, &
>
> > >hellip; On seeing that, the invigilator rushed
> > >forward and asked "Singh why are you
> > >stripping yourself?" To which Mr Singh replied
> > >"But the instruction say: ANSWER IN BRIEF."
>
======================================================
>
> > The doctor told Mr Singh that if he ran
> > eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he
> > would loose 34 kilos.
> > At the end of 300 days, Mr Singh
> > called the doctor to report he had lost
> > weight, but he had a problem.
> > "What's the problem?"
> > asked the
> > doctor. "I'm 2400 km from home."
>
======================================================
> > 2 Singhs got fed up with the Indian
> > Govt and decided to blow up the
> > parliament. They take 2
> > bombs, put them in a suitcase in the
> > front seat of their car and set
> > off. One asks the
> > other "What happens if the bombs
> > blast off now" The other says
> > "Don't worry. I
> > have a spare bomb in the
> > back seat"
> ====================================================
>
> > Mr Singh was filling up an application
> > form for a job. He promptly filled the
> > columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came
> to
> > the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what
> >
> > to write there. After much thought he
> > wrote: YES.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
joke
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
> > the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
> > the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I
> > warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the
> > owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost
> > us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
> > warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw
> > the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken
> > antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man
> > reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
> > window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
> > replied.
> >
> >
> > "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
> > I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
> > years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
> > wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll
> > keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband
> > said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million
> > dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the
> > genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll
> > guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
> >
> > "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd
> > like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
> > in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And
> > your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
> > disasters!"
> >
> >
> > "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
> > "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
> > a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your
> > wife."
> >
> >
> > The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
> > both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
> > She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
> > right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
> > what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the
> > husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
> >
> >
> > So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
> > of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
> >
> >
> > After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and
> > looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
> > husband?"
> >
> >
> > "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
> >
> >
> > "Really? Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
> > genies?"
> > the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
> > the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I
> > warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the
> > owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost
> > us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
> > warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw
> > the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken
> > antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man
> > reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
> > window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
> > replied.
> >
> >
> > "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
> > I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
> > years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
> > wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll
> > keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband
> > said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million
> > dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the
> > genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll
> > guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
> >
> > "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd
> > like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
> > in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And
> > your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
> > disasters!"
> >
> >
> > "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
> > "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
> > a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your
> > wife."
> >
> >
> > The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
> > both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
> > She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
> > right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
> > what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the
> > husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
> >
> >
> > So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
> > of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
> >
> >
> > After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and
> > looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
> > husband?"
> >
> >
> > "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
> >
> >
> > "Really? Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
> > genies?"
Thursday, August 04, 2005
test
點解既呢 ??
神奇呀! (千萬不要先看答案)
請跟著以下的指示，盡快地回答以下的問題，
但要先完成一個問題才回答下一個。
你不需要寫下答案，只要心算便可。
15+6是多少
3+56
89+2
12+53
75+26
25+52
63+32
123+5
快！！！心想一種工具和一種顏色！
你剛剛想的是否紅色的鎚子？
如果答案不是的話，你就是2%的與眾不同的人∕不正常人，
通常98%的人做這個測驗會回答紅色的鎚子，
如果你不信的話，不妨給你的朋友試試。
神奇呀! (千萬不要先看答案)
請跟著以下的指示，盡快地回答以下的問題，
但要先完成一個問題才回答下一個。
你不需要寫下答案，只要心算便可。
15+6是多少
3+56
89+2
12+53
75+26
25+52
63+32
123+5
快！！！心想一種工具和一種顏色！
你剛剛想的是否紅色的鎚子？
如果答案不是的話，你就是2%的與眾不同的人∕不正常人，
通常98%的人做這個測驗會回答紅色的鎚子，
如果你不信的話，不妨給你的朋友試試。
Cathouse Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful
>parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
>
>"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
>
>The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
>this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, and sometimes it
>says some pretty vulgar stuff."
>
>The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird
>anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room
>and waited for it to say something.
>
>The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, New
>madam."
>
>The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
>"that's really not so bad."
>
>When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and
>said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were
>a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering
>how and where the parrot had been raised.
>
>Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
>
>The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith."
>parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
>
>"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
>
>The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
>this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution, and sometimes it
>says some pretty vulgar stuff."
>
>The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird
>anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room
>and waited for it to say something.
>
>The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, New
>madam."
>
>The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
>"that's really not so bad."
>
>When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and
>said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were
>a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering
>how and where the parrot had been raised.
>
>Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
>
>The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith."
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Monday, August 01, 2005
Life is tough. It's tougher if u're stupid!
> Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
> menu that you could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
> asked for a half dozen
> mcnuggets. We don't have half dozen nuggets," said
> the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,
> nine, or twelve,
> "was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
> nuggets, but I can order
> six? "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered
> six McNuggets.
>
>
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just
> a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
> mine. I picked up one
> of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
> register and placed it
> between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After
> the girl had
> scanned all of my items, she picked up the
> "divider", looking it all
> over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not
> finding the bar code
> she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I
> said to her "I've
> changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
> today." She said "OK," and
> I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
> to what had just
> happened.
>
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
> beside her car. Do you
> need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
> should have replaced
> the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
> can't get into my car.
> Do you think they (pointing to a distant
> convenience store) would have
> a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
> an alarm, too?" I
> asked. "No,just this remote thingy," she answered,
> handing it and the
> car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
> unlocked the door, I
> replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
> about the batteries.
> It's a long walk."
>
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none
> too swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm
> almost out of typing
> paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
> paper," the secretary
> told her. With that, the intern took her last
> remaining blank piece of
> paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to
> make five "blank"
> copies.
>
>
> Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
> placing a metal
> colander on his head and connecting it with wires
> to a photocopy
> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
> copier, and police
> pressed the copy button each time they thought the
> suspect wasn't
> telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was
> working, the
> suspect confessed.
>
>
> A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
> dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was
> eating ants. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
> and should be fine,
> the mother says, I just gave him some ant
> killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
> him in to emergency!
>
>
> Moral of the Story : Life is tough. It's tougher if
> you're stupid."
>
> menu that you could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I
> asked for a half dozen
> mcnuggets. We don't have half dozen nuggets," said
> the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,
> nine, or twelve,
> "was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
> nuggets, but I can order
> six? "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered
> six McNuggets.
>
>
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just
> a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
> mine. I picked up one
> of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
> register and placed it
> between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After
> the girl had
> scanned all of my items, she picked up the
> "divider", looking it all
> over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not
> finding the bar code
> she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I
> said to her "I've
> changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
> today." She said "OK," and
> I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
> to what had just
> happened.
>
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
> beside her car. Do you
> need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
> should have replaced
> the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
> can't get into my car.
> Do you think they (pointing to a distant
> convenience store) would have
> a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
> an alarm, too?" I
> asked. "No,just this remote thingy," she answered,
> handing it and the
> car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
> unlocked the door, I
> replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
> about the batteries.
> It's a long walk."
>
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none
> too swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm
> almost out of typing
> paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine
> paper," the secretary
> told her. With that, the intern took her last
> remaining blank piece of
> paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to
> make five "blank"
> copies.
>
>
> Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
> placing a metal
> colander on his head and connecting it with wires
> to a photocopy
> machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
> copier, and police
> pressed the copy button each time they thought the
> suspect wasn't
> telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was
> working, the
> suspect confessed.
>
>
> A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
> dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was
> eating ants. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl
> and should be fine,
> the mother says, I just gave him some ant
> killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
> him in to emergency!
>
>
> Moral of the Story : Life is tough. It's tougher if
> you're stupid."
>
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