it's cny...

juz let me 'complain' first b4 i talk abt cny...

sigh...sad...stress...duno wat to do...arghhhh...
my dad...duno y my dad is ALWAYS soooooo petty...i canot take it!!! always get angry with me so easily...i mean i already tried my very best to appease him...but in the meantime, i wana attend church services or do things for God...but...arghhh...i duno wat to sae lah...HELP!!!!!
yah..i know i shld surrender all to God...but...i just wana rant it all out lah...
sigh...duno y he is always angry with me...i've tried so much...tried to always be home (if some ppl noe, i will always tell them i going home first cos my dad will not e happy, etc if i'm out with them)...if not i also nv go out (i seldom go out actually) and will go home...other than my usual stuff like OT, class, Net, NL meeting, i will go home as early as i can!!! but he never appreciates...and keeps saying i am always not home...and get angry...he always expects much more whenever i've done as much as i can...hey...i've got a life of my own too..i cant possibly stay at home 24/7 rite?
sigh...juz afraid me stressing too much my dad getting angry will cause me a breakdown...i really scared i canot take it one day and juz disappear myself...hahahhaa...oopz....i love my family alot...but sometimes i really wonder i Love or izzit just FEAR? i duno...really duno...sigh..

aiya i lazy to type liao...will tok abt cny when i can...nite
bye
God Bless n love all of u!!!

continued....

Back...need to add on...

yah...was saying that my mum always scold me...especially since i was young...there were many hurtful words too, like ' no wonder nobody wants you', 'you are so ugly', and many other things...such words pierced through my heart each time...and i was very young then...can you believe/imagine how i am able to take such blow to me even at a young age?...been living such a life for over 20 yrs...however, i really thank God that at least now is not as worse as the past...ever since i started working and earning money 5yrs ago...and giving her allowance...her attitude towards me changed abit for the better...less scoldings...less crude remarks...but at times when she siao siao will be quite bad again...basically i just have to bear with her nonsense and give in to her (my dad wants me to give in to her)...

i remember i used to argue back whenever they scold me...cos most of the time she will scold me for no good reason or even when i'm not in the wrong...that is why i always want to defend myself by arguing back...i never win...they will scold me even more...i used to have a very bad temper...but i really thank God for working in me...through these...he gave me patience...for more than 1 year...i have not argued back with them...i will always just keep quiet whenever they scold me...no matter what...just as to prevent more quarrels...i think it's a good idea...cos being quiet, they will have nothing more to say...haaa...but i'm really disappointed in my dad for one thing...he never helps me whenever my mum gets angry with me...he knows her pattern...and i always and no matter what, have to give in to my mum everytime...i will always be considered as WRONG even when i'm not...and my mum...will no matter what always makes things difficult for me...sigh...and my brothers...always purposely get me into trouble...sigh...

however, i can see how my mum show love to me too...i really wana thank her for it...she will buy breakfast for me everyday without fail...except for once or twice in like a week or 2...but she will always either buy or prepare me food...i really appreciate that...really...at times she will be nice to me lah...though it will be once in a blue moon...but i still appreciate those...

hmmm...i duno what to write again...will continue if i got stuff to write...

will stop here...take care...God Bless n love u...

sign off

Siyin - Ann

Juz being....juz...juz...juz feel like blogging...

Hmm...Don't know where and what to start...just...just...wana blog about my past...my family...some bad stuff...some good stuff...

Guess most of you who knows me, will know about my background...complicated...like i always think...everyone has a different kind of background...a background that either makes them mature and independent...or a background that makes them childish and spoilt...and yup...i'm in the first category i guess...and i Thank God for it!

God has a plan for each and every one of our lives even before we were born! That's why...He planned that i'll be in this current family...He planned that i will know Him during my school days (pri n sec sch)...and He planned that i will accept Him and be devoted 18+ yrs after i was born...and He also planned that i will be serving Him with all my heart thereafter...and always...till the 2nd coming...

When i was young and immature...i always thought i hate my parents for not wanting me...leaving me in a family where i'm scolded everyday for nothing...where boys ('brothers') are always much much favoured than me...i totally hate that feeling...i totally hate being there...i always feel soo unloved...ever since i was born...in my teen years...i've been constantly seeking for love out there...attached at an early age of 13 (or 14 i think)...after each relationship...will be another in no more than 1 month...always hates being at home...cos i know that if i'm home, i will get scolded (by my 'mum')...but if i am always out..i will also get scolded...arghh...life just sucks at that time...i never really remember any happy moments during my childhood...

I love being in school...cos i have my friends...i joined the Christian Fellowship in primary school..and i enjoyed it...we have chapel services every week...it was fun...i wanted to go church...but can't...cos parents don't allow...life still goes on though...many ups and downs...many moments where i wana end my life too (during break ups, quarrellings, friendship problems, canot tahan family stuff like getting scolded for nothing etc)...i am always not afraid of death...but i know...each time...there's a voice stopping me from doing these stupid things...a voice i actually never really notice much...but the pulling sensation of stopping me is great...i didnt go ahead in the end each time...i didnt really notice why...

It was when i was JC1 (end) that i received a call (or sms?) from Jinlun...my secondary school friend...to attend church (VFC)...i don't mind going...cos i was exposed to Christianity when i was young...but...my mother wouldnt allow me to go...i will have to complete my A'Levels first then i can make my own decisions...after A'Levels...i lived my own life...clubbing...meeting people...not relationship kind of relationships...(i still keep a distance and know my limits though)...it's just like a life of darkness...then came another call...guess who? Jinlun again...inviting me to church again...i was reluctant...already living in the world...y would i want it changed?but...God is amazing...you just wouldnt be able to comprehend how He does things...at first...i literally dragged myself to church...and said i would only go if i can wake up, and try to go only once in 2 wks (Sunday service)...but...i amazingly wake up at 730am every sunday! without fail! which made me 'no choice' but to go church since i'm up so early...so...from once in 2 wks...become every week...from only Sunday...to including Saturdays too...and this has been on for the past 4-5yrs...

God changed me totally...for the better...and i've became more matured about things in my life...i learn to think...and accept...and give thanks...
I began to think of my past...i think i am really childish...why do i hate both my families? why should i hate my life? i should love it! i began to realise how actually blessed i was (i did thought abt it earlier but not in depth)...i always thought about the unhappy things and things i was angry about...but did i think of others? no...you know...in my 20 over yrs in life, in this family, we've always have a maid most of the time...this means i need not do housework etc...i have a place to stay despite my background and being unwanted...i'm able to attend school (and through school, i know God bit by bit...)...i've always good food to eat...and most important of all, i've got a 'dad' who loves me and who wants me when nobody wants me when i was born...he accpeted my into the family although my 'mum' strongly disagrees...i thank God for him cos he loves me...and is always so strict on me...cos he's worried for me...and cos he's strict on me, i did not turn out to be any 'loose' woman that i might have been since i've been in many relationships...

[I really love my 'dad' alot...i am really thankful for what he has done nearly 24yrs ago...i know i can never be able to repay that...but...just like him and any other typical chinese family...i am not good at expressing...since young i don't receive hugs from parents or brothers...so i would never do that even for now...i never hear or say any ' i love yous' since young...so it doesn't happen now too...and because i do not know how to express even though i am really thankful and i really love this family...it has caused many misunderstandings and quarrels between me and my 'dad'...i am always thought of as someone who do not love him and the family...am someone who only cares about her friends...SIGH...sad...my dad doesn't understand...he always gets angry with me...sad..]

Life is so different ever since i really accepted Christ...though in the first part, i wasnt as devoted...and i even 'disappeared' from Net (cell groups) etc for abt 1 yr...but since then...i fully devoted myself to God...i served in ministries...i joined the Youth Ministry...i really have great passion for the Youths...always wanted to be a good example to them.and also hopefully able to lead them to getting closer to God...took me another few years before i became a leader...now i'm a leader...really happy...but...the gap (age) between me and the youths are getting bigger...find myself so difficult to click with them...but still my heart for them is to see them grow...now i'm doing what God wants me to do...thereafter, i guess will be time for transition to a new season in my life..

I love God...i really really love God...and i also kow God loves me...and His love for me is Unconditional...i really thank God sooo much for being in my life...for already planning this life/path for me...though i'm not happy with this life when i was young...but i'm happy it turned out this way...cos...it's God's plan...i might not be happy with some areas of my life too now...but still...i thank God for everything...man can see me now serving the Lord..always busy myself with church stuff...even my dad...always angry why i spend so much time in church...many will also see me being so firm on having to find only equally yoked partners (many people chasing me...but rejected all one by one cos all non-Christians)...but they never really know and understand why...like i said...everyone experienced a different kind of background...nobody experienced my background before...that is why they never understand...i also believe very well that God WILL definitely bless me with a man who fears and loves Him...and someone who serves Him wholeheartedly...a man who has Christ-like characters too...a man who is spiritually higher than me...so that he will be able to lead me spiritually and not stumble me...so...yup...it's ok to reject those other guys...though many are good potentials...but too bad...they are not God-fearing...i really gave my all/my whole life to God...cos it is actually His...His creation...

I really hope and pray that one day my family (esp my dad) and friends understands why i devoted so much to God...i really hope and pray that one day, they will also able to be like me, taste the goodness and love of God...they will always receive countless blessings from the Lord...and in turn, devote their whole lives to God...if they open up their hearts, and let God mould them...they will know and understand why many of us Christians obey the Word...if one day my dad is able to open up and let God change him...i believe there will be more love within the family...less misunderstandings, esp on serving the Lord...really praying hard...

[anyway, don't think that i'm very holy or what...i also do live in a dark side of my life too...but...i really really thank God that i have Him in my life...without Him interfering...i believe i will turn to hate myself to the core...God is always there...He's always there to stop and prevent me from doing more wrong...He's always there to wake me up and take me away from the world...Thank You Lord! I believe that if God is not in my life...that will be the end of me...even how strict a dad i have, i think i wouldnt be able to control myself...cos i have no God...and the devil is in me...but cos i have God in me...the devil will not dare to attack me...in fact, i have God to attack the devil for me...so...God really saved my life totally!... =) ]

Ok...i think i really have to stop writing...late...need to sleep cos got work!!!

Btw, God has been faithful all along...been recently very financially tight...and i still give as what God spoke to me for Willing Offering...God blessed me back...despite the economic downturn...Thank You Lord...at least now God not only blessed me with what i gave, He blessed me to be able to pray for part of the school fees... =)

The Lord is GOOD! AMEN!

k will stop here...take gd care..hope this story of mine will leave an impact to you...and also sow the seed in you abt how great God is...

take care...God Bless and Love you!


Siging off...

Siyin - Ann

Goodbye 2008, Welcome 2009~

time flies...one year has passed...it was like not long ago that was the beginning of 2008...but...no...it's 2009 now...wow...

wonder if i had missed out anyting in 2008...maybe not...since there are so many activities going on the whole year...making the whole year seem so fast!

anyway...now already the 5th day of the year...things still feel the same...i'm as bz as ever at work...sigh...constantly worrying abt work...but...my love n drive to work hard is diminishing..sigh...why?long story...i remember i'm someone who loves to work much more than study...and if i'm on leave or staying at home doing nothing, i will feel uneasy...but now, that feeling is like gone! sigh...

guess it's time for me to change a new job...a new industry...a new environment...but how?this current economic situation is not the time...but...how?the answer is...PRAY and BELIEVE in GREATER THINGS from GOD! hee...

God has a great plan for me! Amen!

Anyway, in my 2nd last post on how my 2008 is like, at first i didnt noe how 2009 will be like, but now i think i noe a glimpse of it...it's from the Youth 09 vision...to raise leaders! I'm gona work all out to raise as many leaders as possible from Whampoa Net! I'm really happy to see the willingness of my net members...love them loads!

another is the Children Ministry...i'm gona put my heart for it!

there'll be more things to come...but i have no idea yet...haaa...but definitely i'm not only gona receive from the Lord, i'm also gona give whatever i have to the Lord!

anyway the past few days was quite fun...there's watchnite service on 31st dec 08...service, game and countdown etc...welcoming the new year with the Lord is great...however, a feeling of loneliness still struck me quite badly during the service...cos i reached late...so unable to find seats with the youths...so sat elsewhere...but cos after the break the mandarin congregation came in and took over the section where i sat (with yanzong)...so we have to find seats...the section where r7/8 youths were was too packed, so we couldnt find any seat...sat on the ground instead...feel like ppl didnt really care...or maybe cos it's me?wasnt always really remembered or cared at times by ppl...anyway am glad Lennie n Johnson sooo nice...offered to swap places with me and Hilary (she came to sit with us too cos more ppl shared the seats...so too squezzy, so she rather sit on the ground)...but we still made them go back to their seats...Thanks to the both boys...nice of them...then countdown came...in my heart, i felt happy that God has given me another new year to spent, and has definitely blessed me in yr08...however, physically, i canot feel much joy...didnt join in the fun the rest had, playing balloons and all...partly cos we were standing at the side and where the fun were was inside...all i did was smile (cos i can see their happy faces and the fun they had) and take some photos...though in my heart i feel sooo lonely n ignored...i'm definitely happy to see them happy! after watchnite was all nite youth activity...Movies n Makan...there are afew shows played concurrently...i was in the main sanctury...everyone had their own cliques etc...they walked around, talked around and have fun...but seem like i'm so detached from them (is it age? or me?), i sat alone at the whole row, staring at the screen which was playing Prince Caspian..tired afew times to walk around and find ppl to play n talk to...but seems like it doesnt work...even the sign ups or makan...nobody asked me along...so yah...decided to head home at 2plus am...thanks yanzong n johnson who wanted to walk me out but unable to cos JL needs to lock the place...so i headed out for a taxi myself...at first i wanted to walk for a distance first alone b4 taking a cab...but cos i'm carrying alot of things, and i'm tired...so i hopped on the cab soon after...following day...slept till 2.30pm...nothing to do..so slacked at home...till i really get bored...so asked ck out for dinner...thanks for the company...

anyway...sorry to be so emotional abt the above...but i juz wana let it out...i mean i shouldnt let this loneliness consume me...i really need to fight it hard...loneliness will still be there...but i must not let it affect my spiritual life...and most importanly...God is with me...so no matter how lonely...i'm actually NOT lonely at all...cos i have God! i canot let that unhappy feeling affect me or even affect others...really thank God for being with me always...cos if without Him and prayers when i'm facing those situations, i guess i might not be strong enough to handle it, and might leave all these and lead another life without God, and blame God and those ppl all my life...i really thank God i did not do that...He really taught me alot...Thank You Lord!

anyway gotta sleep...got class at nite...1st lesson...hope it's interesting...hee...

and thanks Zhi Wei for sending me a msg of prayers for my coming classes and my year ahead...really encouraging...

take care

God Bless n love all of u!

:)

very bz day today...tmr gona be bz too...sigh...

but i'm happy!

cos i'm being remembered!

my net member sent a forwarded msg to me...they askin ppl out to watch movie (the youths)...but i didnt agree to it cos the timing too early...however the time was changed again...but i still couldnt cos by the time i know it, i left 30mins to pack up n reach amk hub..   :(

i also received another sms from nana also for dinner and movie with ff club i guess...but i canot confirm on time...cos my colleagues (my team) wana go hap hap (meaning happy hour)...but wasnt confirmed too...so in the end i have to reject nana's invite and wait for my colleagues to cfm...

but when evening comes, out of 5 of us, 2 left after work...so in the end was cancelled...

sad sia...in the end all 3 appts i didnt get to go any of them...but nvm...at least i'm happy ppl include me...esp my net member...he said he will sure include me...awww...sweet...touched...

worked till abt 8pm...den went suntec collect smthg...den head home...and slack...

nitez!

God Bless!

As the year comes to an end....

Hey all!

Guess it's really been some time since i last blog. I am reallylazy about it although i have lots to say about. Hahaz.

Wow...time really flies! The year is coming to an end already! It seemed like just not long ago when i bloged about how my Yr2007 was and what was coming in for Yr2008. And now, I am going to talk about Yr2008 and what's in for Yr2009!

Hmmm...remember last year i mentioned that my 2007 was really a yr where i received lots of things from the Lord? (like graduated, license, promotion, new job, go camps, etc). This year is really a total different year that i have experienced! (we must always remember that we should not only just receive, but also to give, to the Lord...and vice versa). I really give all out and serve the Lord this year, but in the midst of serving, i still receive lots of blessing from the Lord too! I suddenly seemed to be involved in really lots of stuff that i think i'm really maxed out.

The ministries I'm in:

-Youth Ministry - Became a Net Leader this year too

- Childrens Ministry - Both grps (3-6yrs and 7-12yrs). I was also even appointed to be a worship leader (together with Matthew B) for the 7-12yrs age group!

- Nursery (on and off kind)

[noticed that i'm actually in ministries ranging from few mths old right up to abt 25yrs (youths) old?]

- Cafe Ministry - In the youth ministry

Some other stuff i'm involved in (church):

- Youth outreach (FUN!)

- Spanish Outreach (Nice to know new ppl...but my Espanol sux)

- 180 Outreach (Cool! Great success!)

- The One ( hey my The One friend! hope u noe who u r! I'm always praying for u!)

Others:

- Normal work - BZ always

- Leader's Meeting/Caregrp

- Prayer Meetings (once a mth)

- Net (have to be there every week to teach)

- Tuitions

- Exercise (stopped for v long since my toe broken :(   )

- Adhoc administrative church stuff

- Others which i cant remember

You know, my schedule every week was like packed up lah...so packed till i didnt have time to go out...plus no one asks me out too...only at times...but sometimes it's good lah...cos i can at least go home and spend time with my parents... :)

Arghh..next year my classes will start...Mon and Thur...really Thank the Lord that there's this set of class...cos the other 2 sets hits Tue, Fri, Sat n Sun...where these days i wldnt wana let other stuff take over...they are Leaders' Mtg/Caregrp, Net, Edge and other duties, Sunday servies...so how to go class? So, the set where class falls on Mon n Thur is just so God-given! hee

Anyway, we've just had our Youth Camp recently. For the youths, there's this new vision which is to raise up everyone to be a Net Leader! That's really a HUGE vision! But i believe so! Have already got in mind who to raise up though. They will definitely be great leaders! This vision came timely for what i have planned for the coming yr and i really thank God for confirming it!

Yup...dont know what to write about liao...but all in all, i really thank the Lord for blessing me with such a good and fulfilling year! I never regret serving the lord!

Will continue to serve The Lord with all my heart in years to come!

Love lots to all!

Siyin

25 Nov Daily Bread

One of the joys of being with kids is holding their hands. We do it to keep them safe while crossing the street, or to keep them from getting lost in a crowd. And whenever they stumble and lose their footing, we grab their little hands tighter to keep them from falling.

That's what God does for us. Inevitably there are stones and cracks that trip us up on the sidewalks of life. That's why it's easy to identify with the psalmist, who said, "My steps had nearly slipped" (Ps. 73:2).

We all face a variety of issues that threaten to make us stumble. For the psalmist Asaph, seeing the prosperity of the wicked caused him to question the goodness of God. But God squeezed his hand and reassured him that, given the judgment of God, the wicked do not really prosper. True prosperity, the psalmist discovered, was found in the fact that God was always with him: "You hold me by my right hand" (v.23). And just for good measure, God reminded him that He would also guide him t! hrough life and ultimately welcome him home to heaven (v.24). How good is that!

So, next time you stumble, remember that the powerful hand of God is holding your hand and walking you through life-all the way home! -Joe Stowell

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand. -Stanphill
© Renewal 1978, Singspiration.

Let God do the holding and you do the trusting.

after 4 months of S I L E N C E.......................

hahahaa...
wah...been long since i blogged...super lazy lah...ahahaa
also duno why i suddenly blog today...haaz...
anyway...time really flies...in less than 1 mth, i'll be in citi for 1yr le...fast sia...and within 4mths...many stuff happen...happy, sad, watever...haaa...activities after activities...if not boring-ness after boring-ness...hahahaz...recent activities were Bangkok Trip with Credit Operations, Citibank Dinner and Dance, KCPSS Youth Outreach! all were great! really enjoyed them, especially D&D...cos i was in the main committee to organize it...soo really happy that it was a GREAT success! heez...i believe many who attended also said that too...
i'm in charge of the prizes..have to get sponsors to sponsor lucky draw prizes and other competition prizes...i managed to get a few of my own contacts...like il-Lido dining vouchers, Namho Travel Vouchers, and even trophies for the top 3 winners! hee...others will be the partners or merchants of Citi...i really learn alot being in the PRIDE Team [it is a team of people who organizes the few main events for Citibank Singapore Ltd...actually this team consist of all MA-Management Associates(super smart and all-rounder people) as it is one of their MBO...but i kpo volnteer to join...cos i wana learn to organize events..really fun lor...but not easy...]...people are fun...but i guess it's difficult to merge into their culture...after all, they are all MAs...i'm juz a normal employee of citi...it's already good enough to know them liao...they will have the opportunity to know and frequently communicate with those big shots in the company...anyway, really happy to know them though...
oh yah...did i say this week is Sabbath Week? this means no church activities/meetings etc...full week of rest days for us! wow...seem so different...i meet up with more frens...tue we youth leaders in my region had a leaders' outing at Botanic Gardens...on mc...so rested whole dae at home first den evening go find them...Wed met up with a colleague (one of the new MA) and our common fren Sey Long! we happen to find out we know the same fren! hahaz...thur after my gym i went to meet my grp of gd sec sch frens! we went to have fun at Mind Cafe! fun! heez...so funny...there's a 'new' member joining our group...actually she's one of our sec sch fren too...funny...she keep teasing me n CK...keep saying i'm his 9yrs ago past...haa...yup that's true...but maybe she didnt noe we became best of frens now...too good frens till we noe we canot be together again...haaz...plus i have my other reasons too...haaa...cos got 7 of us (many more not around)...got 1 couple...1 'might-be' or 'to-be' couple, me n ck, and this new addition...so she keep teasing us...thought can bring about a spark...haaa...anyway ck n the rest also tease her back...cos her 'past' (actually i not sure if now is present) is also in the grp but wasnt with us on thur...we played a game called Imaginiff...quite fun...about guessing what type of person the chosen one in the grp each time is...the cards will have different questions...e.g. Imagine if XXX is a kitechen utensil, what will he/she want to be? (there will then be a list of options to choose from)...majority wins...fun...it helps us get to noe each other better...whenever is guessing abt me, most of them got it...haaa...but not many of guessing me though...most of guessing ck...haaz...
k dat's abt what was done...now for what's coming up next!
Friday (later) will have another round of games in the evening...@ Settlers! some kinda like Jinguo's farewell with his net...n i'm taking over his net...he's gona go NS liao...sad...anyway taking over this net is a big challenge for me...but i have God with me...so i noe i can do it!
yup...den Sat other than my normal stuff, we have no Edge...but we got a Thank You BBQ for those involved in the Youth Outreach...hee...sunday resume service...den afternoon got spanish outreach...there will be Lantern Festival celebration with the spanish speaking people...sure will be fun! heez...
these will be my coming week! gona be real fun!

anyway i needa sleep...nite!
God Bless all of u!

wow...been quite some time...

hihi all...wow...it's really been long since i last update...can see how busy(or maybe lazy) i am to update lor...haaa...the past few mths has been really hectic for me lor...only recently then my pace slow down abit...
let me tell u how my schedule is like the past few mths...everyday packed! [those coloured will be my schedule now]
Monday - Mornings will be work...after work is giving tuition [now stop for awhile since exams over! - means free time for me]
Tuesday - Mornings will be work...after work is Caregroup [no changes]
Wednesday - Mornings will be work...after work is exercise [no changes]
Thursday - Mornings will be work...after work is Spanish lesson [no more! means free time]
Friday - Mornings will be work...after work is Cell Group (NET!!!) [no changes]
Saturday - Mornings will be giving tuitions (2 kids...from 930 to abt 12...then 1 to 2plus)...then Discipling (now dun really need liao)...or cafe duties at times...then Edge...then dinner/fellowship [tuitions might have some changes...if stop for awhile will be good...can wake up later!]
Sunday - Mornings will be LIW before service...then Service/duty...then lunch...then NLT...then service/home/out [now, mornings will be Discipling, service/now more of CW duties...then lunch...then either home or every alternate week is Spanish outreach...evening service/home/out]
yup yup...those are my schedules...packed right? no free time for myself either to shop or go out with friends...everydae is just so systematic...mundane...haaz...
really Thank God for giving me the strength to pull thru this tiring moment...Thank God for just everything...He is just so amazing...Thank God that now i have time to 'rest' or get to have more free time...esp spending time at home...Amen!
oh yah...i'm just back from Vietnam - Ho Chih Minh City...nice place...not fast paced at all...but the weather super hot...many many many bikes or scooters...traffic are messy...u have to cross the rd closing ur eyes...if not you'll be freaked out...haaa...nah...hmmm...i'm still not able to take roadside food...looks super scary...haahaa...you must be a good bargainer when buying things...

okok gotta sleep...nite to all...will update again if i can...

*ps: sigh...super long nv rollerblade/skate liao...really miss it...no time n troblesome to travel...

God Bless n Love u!

Learning Spanish!

surprised? haaz...just had my 1st lesson today...wow...i dun think it's easy to learn lor...but...i'm determined to learn it well! haaz...
there are 5 other students learning Spanish with me for this 8 weeks (one did not attend today)...not bad lah...class size not too big n not too small...
wah...i guess my brain got tooo many things to remember liao...work...family matters...personal matters...friends...church stuff...and now...SPANISH!...haaz...hope it wont 'burst'!haha...
k now...let me intro some simple spanish...also for me to practice lah...

Hola (to be read as O-La) ==> Hello or Hi
Me IIamo (to be read as May-Yahh-Mo) ==> my name is...
Mucho gusto (Moo-Cho Goos-to) ==> Nice to meet you
Gracias (Gra-see-yas) ==> Thank You
De Nada (Day-Nah-dah) ==> Don't mention / You're Welcome
Buenos Dias (Boo-way-nos Dee-yahs) ==> Good Morning
Buenas Tardes (Boo-way-nas Tar-dehz) ==> Good Afternoon
Buenas Noches (Boo-way-nas No-cheys) ==> Good Evening
Bien (Bian) ==> Fine
Bien, gracias ==> Fine, thank you
Muy Bien (Moo-yee Bian) ==> Very well!
Lapicerol or Lapiz (Lap-bi-ser-rol; Lap-iz) ==> Pencil
Pluma (Blu-ma) ==> Pen
Estuche (ehs-too-chey) ==> Pencil Case
Mesa (meh-sa) ==> Table
etc....lazy to type liao...haaa...njoy learning! Adios!

bz

sigh...think whereever i work...i will ALWAYS be sooo bz...n STRESSED...sian lor...think i really 'zhu ding' to live in such manner for work...hahahaha...but nevertheless, i worked hard at work...do my very best each time...actually i realised smthg abt me since i came citi...no more tea break(going downstairs to buy food at any time i like--used to do that when i was in uob)...no sleeping during lunch time (i used to always do that in uob!)...no time-wasting chit chatting during working hours(i always do that in uob--relax wat!)...in fact, the only time where i am full of nonsense is during lunch time (provided i go out lunch and not lunch in lah)...my colleagues can verify that...during luch time, i can laugh till like mad...and maybe for awhile after coming back from lunch...but once i start working (placing my eyes in front of my pc monitor, i become v v serious...they wldnt even 'dare' to disturb me...haaz...i didnt realise it till a couple of weeks ago my colleague whom i always lunch with complained that she's tired and wanted me to entertain her(keep her awake)...but i didnt talk to her at all!haaz...guess that's me...plus so bz wat...always got never ending adhoc work...sian lor...haaz...no choice...gotta work...if not who feed n support me?hahaha...
anyway...i still wana thank God for always giving me the strength to carry on...n also peace when i feel a total loss at work sometimes...God is Faithful! Amen!
k lah...needa sleep...tired...nitez...take care

God loves n Bless all of u~

The oldies~

My dad's side siblings with their other halves...

Family Photo of Cousins!`

This photo is taken during one of my cousin's wedding...5th Feb 08...relatives from Beijing, Hong Kong and New Zealand came back...missing 3 other cousins in this pic though...oh yah...these cousins are only my Dad's side hor...

juz updating~

hiyah! wow...been nearly a mth since i last update...my last update was about my new yr resolution?heheh...anyway i guess no one reads lah...haaa...so update is juz only for the sake of updating...haaz...
hmmm...one month has just past just like that...time really flies...many things happened...but shall not elaborate...haaz...
oh yah...another 1mth plus i will not need to put P Plate liao! woohoo!hahaaz...*watever...juz being random*
hmmm...got some thing wana mention about that happened today...actually many things happened...and really...God is amazing in revealing things to me...that i prayed and want answers for...and i got it! Amen! k...nvm abt that...
what i wana say was that the sermon today was about demonstrating compassion...we even prayed for the people on our left n right for God to intill in them compassion...not those fake ones...but the real compassion from God...n wow...God touched my heart...was taking bus home today...sunday afternoon...not alot of ppl...so got a seat behind but near the back door...was observing ppl in front...then, i saw an aunty (quite old liao ba) came up the bus...saw her limping abit...but what caught my attention was her cheerfulness...she found a seat in front...so sat down...but at the next stop, she saw another woman (more elderly than her) came up the bus...she quickly stood up n let her take the seat! so nice of her...den she limped to the standing area...smiling still...happy that she can give up a seat to that older grandma...then at the next stop, someone from the front got off the bus...so she limped back...sitting down...her smile never leave her face...(wanted to give up my seat for her...but she found it again though)...then about a stop b4 i was going to alight...another odl aunty came up the bus...and once again...this cheerful lady stood up and offered her seat...wow...she's just so full of compassion...she's soo nice! and always put on a smile too...at that moment i really preparing to stand up and let her take my seat...but...seeing her inconvenience in walking (my seat need to go up 2 steps before you reach the seat...)...sigh...i feel helpless...but then, she was also making her way to the back door...(she's alighting i thought)...her left hand at that time was holding on to the pole...and one more thing i noticed in her other than her smile and inconveniencd caused by her leg...her left wrist...it looked super swollen!oh my...at that moment i really feel tears in my eyes...a huge burden in me to pray for her...(i didnt pray with her though)...but immediately i keep praying for healing for her In Jesus Name...i really pray so hard for God to heal her right away...cos i noe the Lord loves her alot too...i was constantly looking at her wrist and prayed...was also trying to find a change to hold on to her while i said my prayers...then cos i gotta alight(same stop as her)...i stood beside her...the door opened...automatically i held her right arm to hep her down the bus...can also see that she was having some difficulty in alighting...can see her pain from her left wrist lor! yet she's trying to get down using her left hand to hold her weight!hmmm...i thank God for giving me a chance to hold on to her to help her down...though only that few seconds, i believe God will heal her! n guess wat? she was super grateful to me helping her down!she said she thought she might have to go up and down twice before really getting down the bus...and she was really happy i helped her...she didnt expect someone would help her...i felt soo happy...i felt happy that the Lord puts such a burden in me to care for her...n oh yah! she even asked me whether i've had my lunch...she wanted to give me a treat! oh...how nice this lady is...so sweet of her...but i was super full...so i didnt went with her...awww...but she's really nice lah...she made my day! i really pray and believe in God to heal her...not only her wrist...but her leg too...and i'm happy that the Lord gave me such a great compassion for even strangers in me...wow...Thank U Lord!
hmmm...yea...this is something i felt worth to blog about...i also pray that many of us will also be able to demonstrate compassion towards others...
k some inputs from service notes today...Demonstrating Compassion! (just a part of the whole service)
Defn of Defination: Deep awareness of suffering of Others coupled with the wish to relieve it; Sympathetic consciousness of other's distress, with a desire to alleviate it; Quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it; the desire to free others from their suffering.
Some pointers to note on Compassion:
1) God is Compassionate
2) Jesus whole Ministry was a Demonstration of Compassion
3) We are to live a life of Compassion
4) It is to be a lifestyle
5) We are to look out for the interests of others
6) Pure and undefiled Christianity is to respond differently from the world - not a self-focus & pride; Not act with partiality
7) God's protection is removed when we ignore the needy, Prov 28:27
8) We will One Day be judged on the basis of our compassion to the needy, Matt 25:31-46, James 2:13
9) Genuine love for God will demonstrate Compassion, 1John 5:2

Afew of the many pointers of Understanding Compassion:
1) Being concerned for others more than ourselves
2) Personal value of selflessness
3) Giving without expectation of return
4) Requires a Godly response : - Non-judgemental; forgiveness; acceptance; mercy; love
5) It is a God idea...NOT a Good idea

Treat demonstrating compassion as a lifestyle!!!


will stop here...God Bless n Love u!

Welcome Year 2008! Goodbye 2007~

Heya~ juz wana wish my ppl reading my blog a Happy New Year 2008! Yup...08 is finally here...oh my...it's here...so fast sia...May all of ya Have a Blessed year ahead...may every area of ur life be smooth sailing...n for my fellow brothers n sisters in CHrist! may u all keep on burning for the Lord and may great n many blessings come upon u!
anyway...07 just whiz past like dat...doesnt seem like 365days has gone lor...many things happen...in my life...my passing of driving in March...den my promotion at UOB...den exams over...1st church camp...den quit my job...got a new job...now as a graduate...taking Net Leaders Training lessons...Graduation Convocation...1st Youth camp...really many things happen lor...good...bad...but yup...2007 is still a good yr after all...esp when i grad n get a better job...hee...I really Thank God for all that has happened and all that He has given me...He really has given me countless blessings throughout the whole yr!
The Lord is ALWAYS so good...and Faithful! I love Him loads...hee...
Now...the new yr is here...wat r my New Year Resolutions? if im not wrong, most or maybe all my NY resolutions came to past...hee...happy...
here are my new ones...not in order though...
1) Keep Growing closer to God (be consistent in serving God, QT, etc...and also my vision..duno when can fulfill)
2) Be a leader (net leader)- really hope the youths can look up to me...or i got smthg for them to look up to...really love them loads...wonder if they noe...
3) Have a closer r/s with my dearest youths (i really love them and have great passion on them)
4) Have a close bonded family (and also salvation of my family)
5) Miracles seen in my 'The One' (actually got 5 for me)
6) Go on a holiday
7) Smooth sailing at work...gd r/s w colleagues...hoping for increment/promotion(thinkin too much...juz joined not long ago onli leh)
8) Closer r/s with my friends (ALL)
9) Learn cool sports...maybe water sports...(if time allows)
10) Maybe a partner? (no need too soon also can...no hurry for me...in Gods time?haa)...dowana make a wrong choice mah...

still have more...but canot remember..haazzz...
yup...these are my NY resolutions...muz work hard towards it!heehee...
I really do pray for a really great year in 2008...in Church, at Home, and even at Work~
For those with NY resolutions, i also do pray that urs will be fulfilled...all the best! May God Bless each and every one of u...take care...


To all my family members(even extended ones)...thanks for being my family members...there's a reason for each and every one of u being in my life! I love my Family...I love my DAD...I love my MUM...I love my Brothers!
To all the Youths of Region D, I really love ALL of u...u all are the gems in my heart...really happy to know each and ever one of ya...U ALL ROCKS!!!!
To my dear friends...thanks for being there...thanks for being my friend...i apoligise to those i seldom keep in contact due to my busyness...will try to find time k? i really miss alot of my friends...
To all my colleagues n ex colleagues...u all are great! great to work with u all...thanks...u all treat me well...cos im usually the youngest...therefore always being looked after...thanks!
Most importanlty, To God. Thanks for coming into my life...clensing my sins...Loving me unconditionally...countless blessings on me...teaching me...being with me..guiding me...giving me strength, wisdom, peace...walking with me...reminding me...answering my prayers...and many many more...you are always so Faithful...so wonderful...miracles happen in my life...Thank u Lord...I love u Lord...and it's not only abt me...i thank the Lord for blessing other ppl ard me...n Lord...u r Amazing...Thanks...

vertical marathon~

wah...didnt noe running for verticle marathon could be that bad...oh yah...VM is running up the staircase...the number of storeys in Millenia Towers is i think 42...thank God i took part only for the relay...if not i think i might need to be sent to the hospital even before i finish running...there's even the 2X VM lor...whereby they will conquer the stairs twice!yucks!...mine is a relay...therefore only 10 storeys high...but...arghh...i thought it's chicken feet...but i nearly dieded...hahahaha...when i got the 'baton' (it's a white rubber band actually), i just sprint up lor...sooo much energy within me...BUT...alamak...didnt expect myself nearly unable to move when i was heading up my 6th storey...no matter how much energy i have,didnt really perspire...n really have the urge to pass to the 3rd person, both my legs juz cant really move!!!!oh my...didnt noe this will happen!!!my front thigh muscles just got numb!have to drag my 2 legs up slowly in the end...sian...when i reached, i just sat on the floor...legs couldnt really move sia...scary...many ppl experienced this too...wah sian lor...then i went back to the ground floor to rest...really cant move liao...till duno what time then i went back office to work...thereafter went Amore for New Body lesson...body toning...many movements (intensive)...and using of weights...great workout...perspire alot...haaz...guess tmr my whole body ache liao...hahahahaha
anyway gotta sleep...
oh yah...my maid went mad...sigh...problematic lah...not saying more abt this here...
nite all...
God Bless~~~

My Graduation Ceremony pics...17 Nov 07

bz bz bz

sigh...been super bz @ work...always OT till late...esp when work officially ends at 530pm...sigh...OT also no extra pay...everyday juz stare at the screen...cannot make mistakes...cos it will mean losses (in dollar terms)...but nevertheless...i still like to work...no choice...i'm a workaholic...haa...
oh yah...recently keeping OT-ing cos the person i took over has left...so i have to solely take over all the work functions...though there are other colleagues in the same unit...but each pair do different stuff...my supervisor on leave too...so i somehow have no one to turn to...really tough lor...each nite i will juz be thinking abt work...while sleeping will be dreaming abt work...mad rite?hmmm...even on my way home i will be thinking what have i missed out doing etc...thank God i do not need to study now...if not i duno what's gona happen to me...getting stress...my gastric symptoms are back...sigh...plus an add on to my rashes...sian man...however, i still wana thank God for always being with me...guiding me and giving me peace n strength...recently on monday i had a v v v bad scolding by my dad...i duno y too...but yah...it happened...till now i have yet to talk to him...partly cos im always home late...and i left home earlier than him for work...sigh...i really pray that things will go well...
k will stop here...
take care...God Bless~

after soo long...

hi peeps~
haaz...been lazy n bz to blog...heez...
previously was really caught up with giving tuitions...non stop...cos my students exams...but finally their exams over...left 1 more uni student whose exams will be in November...other than tuitions, i have been caught up w work...v bz lor...oh yah...working at CitiBank now...in Credit Ops as a Fraud Ananlyst in Fraud dept...learning alot at work...but really strggling n trying my best to catch up...cos the person im takin over is leaving soon...n i got really ALOT of things to learn...if i dun get to learn everything soon...guess i'll die sia...haaz...cos there's a big part that onli i will n must noe how to do...no others will noe...sigh...plus my boss is v strict...as for supervisor, he's still quite nice ba...hmmm...but at least i quite like this job scope...numbers n numbers...however some parts really difficult to catch up...emails flooding my mailbox everyday...n duno which to follow up n how to follow up at times...hmmm...
n 1 more thing which im not used to...it is to wake up v early as work starts at 830am...but ends at 530pm...heez...now is honeymoon period though...can leave on time...but guess soon gotta OT liao...hmmm...
anyway...will stop here...take care all~

God Bless~~

drained out...

wah...really tired...sigh...been giving ALOT of tuitions recently...not that i wanted it...but my students need it...actually i only have 2 students...n guess wat now? i've got another...not only that, he's from NTU and is a yr older than me! 1st time in my life i taught someone older than me!!!stress...moreover, during the 1st tuition on wed...i thought i broke the record to teach for 4hrs straight...i taught from 8.30pm till 12.30am!!!however, today was then the record-breaking timing...7hrs!!!really brain dead...but this student can still go on lor! if i hadnt told him i canot take it anymore, i guess he would have continued till 1am!luckily i did not decide to go home rest after the wedding lunch today...went straight to teach at 4.30pm...ended at 11.30pm...skipped my dinner...no appetite...really tired...can see that he wasnt quite happy when i said i wana leave...cos i have yet to help him finish his tutorials...but boh bian lah...hmmm...
i've been teaching for nearly everyday lor...this week only friday i get to take a break(cos got NET)...other days teaching...plus i'm working part time at a travel agency these 2 weeks...tired tired...hmmm...
yawnz...i need sleep now liao...gotta stop here...update again when i'm free...take cafe all!

God Bless!